I finally got some buffalo wings last night. They are not as good as Bucket's Pub, but they are close. I think I am going to have to make a trip up to Racine w/ Marisa sometime and get some wings. Maybe I will go on a road trip and swing by there or something. It's probably never going to happen but let a girl dream about her buffalo wings. :-D
I went w/ Jamie to Dakota's in Schaumberg last Tuesday and they took our picture again. I am never wearing my hair in a pony tail ever again. I look like a goon, a skinny goon, but a goon non the less.

The Sims 2 expansion pack comes out tomorrow! Woo-hoo! I'm excited.

I finally finished the art assignment that I have been putting off for 6 months. I am going to mail it off today and start on the next one tomorrow. I should be sending a new assignment off every week. I am also going to start using my new checking account as my bill account and my old account as my spending accound w/ my savings account money for my house taken from there on the 3rd of each month. My monthly checks are direct deposited into my old account and my work checks are now direct deposited into my new account. It makes life so much easier. I am going to spend Thursday setting up my bills to be taken from my new account so I don't have to think about that any more and I am also going to open up another savings account at my old bank to save money for stuff that I want like a new bed and a laptop. I need to email Mike (Jamie's other roommate) to see what my rent and bills would be like if I move into his condo. I completely slacked off on my bills this last check.

Katisha is coming back to visit on the fourth of March so I am hoping that I get to hang out w/ her. I miss her at work so much.

I can not wait for tango to start on Thursday. I am really looking forward to getting out of the apartment and doing something again. I want to be more social, but at the same time my job pretty much takes it all out of me and I don't want to deal w/ any one when I am not at work. Speaking of work I need to get ready to go.

Good news.... the zits that have errupted on my face for the last 3 months are finally going away!!! Woo-hoo. The other night Jamie, out of no where, said "ya know I heard of this stuff that is supposed to take care of acne" lol, then he said "You are really awesome at doing your make up, the other night I couldn't even tell" lol I wanted to smack him upside the head but I was laughing too hard. I told him I couldn't believe he just said that. As if I wasn't self-conscious enough about it. But oh well it's going away now. I just thought I would share since there's nothing else to do.
There's an oscar party at the hotel tonight. I believe there will be a total of 4 people there. I wish I could take the tv to play playstation on, it's pretty big.

I am so bored! I want to take a break so I can work on my assignment, but I have 4 hours to go and I already took my lunch, 2 hours ago.

I am extremely sick of celebrities. I read this one blog that rips on celebrities http://conversationsfamouspeople.blogspot.com/ because it's funny and gets me through the work day like today when I have nothing to do. However the rest of the time it's all nonsense. If you really think about it, it's stupid. They are regular people (well they would be if they didn't have professional hairstylest and make-up artists and photographers) that waste money on the dumbest things. Sure they're stuff is cool and I wouldn't be complaining if I had some of it, but it just seems like a waste of valueable time to look at pictures of people I don't even know. I hate watching tv now because it's all about these super rich people wasting all this money. Like on My Sweet 16, about these kid's birthday parties that are costing hundreds of thousands of dollars, or the show on VH1 about how much celebrities spend in a yr. It makes me sick. People bust their ass for minimum wage and these people toss around so much on a kid's party. It's their money they can do what they want, it just seems like they need to give their kids some persective. Oh well. What can you do? I wish I had a few million laying around. lol.

Ooo looks like we get a tour of the hotel. Sweet.

We just had 2 sold out days! Bonuses for me! Woo-hoo. I also might get some overtime. I am debating on if I really want to take it. I want 2 days off in a row. If I don't get 2 days off next week in a row then I would be kicking myself.

I had a sex dream about Keith last night. I must say I am pretty sure he is the only person that I have ever had sex dreams about that isn't famous.

Tomorrow I am planning on finishing the art assignment I have been putting off for the last yr. I need to finish those assignments, once I do I will have an associates degree at least. Then it's on to my bachelor's.

I am looking at online courses lately. I am also going to get back on track w/ my bills w/ this check that I get on Tuesday and Tango starts on Monday and I get to make up that class on Thursday. I am pretty excited. I am about to get really busy.

Wanna hear a really bad idea?

Ross (Jamie's roommate and my friend) is moving. Before me and Jamie started dating I was telling Ross that I wanted his room. Especially now that I have to walk 15 minutes to the train and it's freezing. His place is only a 30 minute walk to my job, (plus there's a parking space if I wanted to get a scooter or something. lol) and the train is a 5 minute ride to work, plus there's a maid, a w/d in unit, and a dishwasher. I like my new neighborhood better, but this neighborhood is more convenient for work and tango lessons, and school. I usually only go shopping on my days off so I could easily go up to the neighborhood I am in now to go shopping. So in essence I would be moving in w/ Jamie even though I would have my own room. The plus side would be that at least we could see each other more, the bad side would be if we broke up, but I would have my own room at least so I could just shut myself in. lol. The great thing is that my lease is up at the end of April, and I think I paid the last months rent up front so Marisa would owe me 200 bucks, I just don't know about this month's rent. I would pay my share and take marisa's 200 and then I could take my time packing and moving. That would be cool. Crap I think I am going to do it if Mike says ok. Depending on how much he wants for a deposit. I think I am the only person on earth who sees a horrible plan and can see what an awful outcome it's going to have andthen feels compelled to do it. I know it's goin to turn out bad, and yet that makes me want to do it even more because I want to defy Murphey's law or something. I am insane!!!!!

I crashed at Jamie's last night. I wanted to hang out w/ him so I thought I would just meet him at work and stay up a little later. On my way to his work I got a private fireworks show. I was walking along Wabash on the side w/ the river and all of a sudden this barge started shooting off fireworks. I was the only one there for the first 5 minutes. Eventually about 20 people showed up. I think it was for the opening of the new Sun Times building, but who the hell has fireworks at 730 at night in february? I enjoyed it though. So then me and Jamie hung out and talked all night!! I asked him why he wasn't doing his landscape architecture that he got his bachelor's in. He talked about that for over an hour and a half, which was cool. I was surprised that he was so knowledgeable about it, it's impressive. I can't believe how good he is at not only plants and horticulture and all that, but also photography. It's amazing. I have one thing that I am decent at and then a whole bunch of things that I am so-so at. Nothing that I am an expert at or better than any one else at. I was really impressed and slighty envious. He's awesome. And I found out he used to drive a forklift. That's hot. So then we just got busy and passed out, about 4 hours before I had to get up!!!! GRRRRR. It was worth it though and he gave me his key before I left this morning so I am going to go over there and pass out when I get off work and it's gonna be nice. I can't wait.

Ohmigod! I am so relaxed right now!!!! I just did my strip work out tape, I sucked at it of course, now I am listening to my music, chatting online and eating a baked potato and some corn. It's nice and quiet and I can just chill out.

Jamie and I went to Dakota's in Schaumberg last night to hang out w/ his friend Mark. I love Mark, he's hilarious!!! I slept until one today, I am such a bum. I plan on going to bed around 10. :-D

On Sunday morning after getting busy I was about to pass out again because I was exhausted from all the sex Jamie and I had just had, he was kneeling between my legs and tickling the man in the boat and just exploring and what not for what seemed like days, I closed my eyes and it felt so good and relaxing I could have sworn I was on a tropical island laying near the pool w/ the cabana boy willing to do whatever I wanted. I was in heaven! Then Jamie and I were cuddled up and as I was slipping into a coma and he started spanking me!!! Yea! It felt sooo damn good. Unfortunately I was so tired I ended up passing out after he stopped anyway cuz it was so yummy feeling, but once I woke up (four hours later) I was all over him for another round. I LOVE that spanking video!!!!! MMMMM spanking......

I plan on editing all the music in my library and reading for the rest of the day. Tomorrow I plan on cleaning. Alot. Folding laundry, doing dishes, sweeping the bathroom floor, vacuuming the living room, I can't stand how messy and disorganized this place is right now. It's hard finding a spot for all of our junk.

Oh, I haven't exactly been doing to well w/ my financial plan. I spent my whole check this weekend. Oops. It was so worth it though and I have enough groceries and my CTA card will last me until I get paid again, so really it's all good. My bills are just the same as they were before. :-(


I should also probably mention that I can think about Keith and not be pissed off any more. That's a good sign. Sometimes a random thought will pop into my head and I will think "Oh that was fun" and then I move on. It's pretty nice. It's been like that for awhile I just never think to put it on here, and I just barely post any more. (at least compared to what I used to)


I have definitely decided I can't do this for the next 40 yrs. Maybe 4 just to get myself through school. Almost 5 months on the job and already I am thinking about getting something else. It's really just because I want something w/ the weekends off, and something that I can do sitting down. lol

7:45 and not a damn thing to do. This sucks.....

Valentine's Day weekend went pretty well. I got a manicure and my eyebrow's waxed.
Then I made the mistake of getting a bikkini wax! Ohmigod! I would rather get a full body tatoo than ever do that again. I wanted to cry. Literally. I kept thinking how nice it would be to cry and maybe she would stop the cruel, ungodly pain she was inflicting on me. There's not much physically that can make me cry, emotionally is another story. I thought it wasn't going to be a big deal and that it couldn't be worse than getting my eyebrow's waxed, I was wrong, and when I'm wrong I say I'm wrong. Sorry had to do a little throw back to Dirty Dancing there.
I think I am getting sick, my throat and glands and tonsils and ears have been killing me lately. Please let me fight this damn thing. I don't want to get sick again.

I haven't worked out since Thursday. Today I did my fitness evaluation. I can do 5 more push-ups and 10 more squats than what I could a week ago. On Saturday I was up to 147, but I had to weigh myself again today for the eval. and I am back down to 142. I am going to a weight watcher's meeting on Wednesday. I also got a magazine today for an article it has about nutrition.

On Saturday morning Jamie and I went to Southwater Kitchen. Alot of people apparently don't like it because it's not fancy enough. I loved it! And Jamie got to watch the game while we ate so he was happy. The food was unbelievalby awesome. The french toast w/ vanilla cream was heaven, I don't even like french toast. They made my eggs perfect (you would be surprised how hard people find it to make eggs over medium and get the white part done) The weekend was so relaxing. It got a little tense on Saturday night because we were running behind to meet his friends and then Marisa came along which made us more late, but it was worth it and he didn't actually get mad, he just warned me that if it was any other day he would be pissed. Before his friend's boyfriend got home it was a little weird. She told me and Marisa we could stay in the kitchen but she had to show Jamie around. It felt like she was trying to leave us out and then me and Marisa just sat there while they talked about stuff w/ another friend and they are architects so they were acting like it was all over our heads when we were both design students and all that. But oh well. After her boyfriend came home she relaxed a bit and stopped being so protective over Jamie. I guess I would be the same way if I was really close w/ someone and I was used to them being single and they brought a girl around. Plus it's hard for me to warm up to people right away. I am not sure she liked me, but I can never tell. Then we went to Dakota's and I got pretty drunk. LOL. Marisa said I was hilarious, I don't remember much. On Sunday I slept all day! I only woke up to eat, watch a couple of movies, and get it on. Woo-hoo!

(The guy who did the voice of Pumbaa in the Lion King, Ernie Sabela, just checked in! I love that movie!)

We watched Ray and Shrek 2. Ray was so good. I love Ray Charles' music and I thought the movie was really good. This one scene me and Jamie both thought it was actually Ray Charles for a second.

On the 3rd of March Jamie and I are going to start tango lessons. I am really excited about it. I can't wait to get back into it.

I have nothing else to say, it is so boring at work!!!!!! I am a little disappointed in my Sfactor 2 DVD. The whole time she talks like she is having sex and it's really distracting. I tried doing it in front of Jamie on Sunday cuz I needed to work out, but I was really tired, I couldn't even get through the first move because I was so embarrassed and laughing so hard. I had to stop. Jamie and I went to the Palmer House Hilton on Saturday for his massage, I could not believe how awesome that place is. That place makes our hotel look like shit. I was thinking "Damn we need to step it up" I just wish I could have seen a room there.

All the places I have been. I think I need to do some traveling:


http://www.world66.com/myworld66/visitedStates/statemap?visited=GAILINKYMONVTNTXWI">
> your own visited states map

I think Florida and San Diego are calling my name.

I got to work today and saw that we had an employee luncheon! Woo-hoo! Free, good food. I also got a star card at work last month for going above and beyond my job duties and at the end of the month they pull the star cards out of a hat for a prize. I actually got my card pulled. I got 10 bucks. That's almost a pair of shoes from the place that has boots on sale down the street! Lucky me.
I am waiting for Jamie to get off work so we can go to this bar for his other roommate's birthday. I feel crappy and just want to go work out. I decided not to work out today because I worked out the last 6 days in a row and needed a break, but now I feel bloated and gross.

I have an appointment w/ a urologist on the second to find out why I pee so damn much, and on the third tango starts! Yea! March is gonna be a good month. I am really looking forward to toning up. I want to wear my new clothes so bad.

I think after I drop Jamie off at the Palmer house I am going to go to Old Navy for a new shirt, and then buy some shoes. Oh! I might just get my new bed tomorrow. Sweet!

Looks like I am damned to the 7th level of hell. Sounds like a party!

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Moderate
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Moderate
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's" Inferno Hell Test

I am so excited to go home and work out! After my regular workout I am going todo my new workout that came in the mail today. It's the Sfactor 2. Woo-hoo!

I think I am getting sick. It's either strep throat or something much worse. Please be strep throat. I am going to get some hot chocolate to drink on the way home. Yum

oh I ended up getting Jamie this book, something like a weekend of great sex for busy people or something like that (I just want a weekend in bed doing nothing but having sex. lol) and the spanking DVD, and a coupon of sexual fantasy coupons for him. He really liked the coupons. Plus the weekend is still a go. Yesterday he called in sick so we spent the day together. He made me dinner and we went to coldstones. We also went to the bookstore. I picked up the second book in Ann Rice's Sleeping Beauty trilogy. Very kinky, very hot. I told him I am going to highlight the parts I like (some are downright nasty) and then give him the book to look over. lol. Damn I just remembered I need to pay my late fees at the library so I can catch up w/ the book club. AND! me and Jamie are gonna start tango lessons on the 3rd of March! woo-hoo.

I felt so good after work today! At least compared to how I normally feel. I sat down and chatted on the im for a few minutes. (Hi Ben, lol) Then I still felt like working out. Normally as soon as I sit down I am done for the night. I have worked out 5 days in a row. I am still trying to work on the eating right. I have breakfast down. and I would have lunch but I just ran out of chili, and I keep forgetting to set out the chicken for dinner. But I am doing so much better than I was.

Talked to Kenny on the phone. I hope that I get a chance to go to Vegas in a few months w/ Jamie and meet Kenny out there.

Got some sexy langerie from Jamie for Valentine's Day. A transparent white corset and thong w/ blue glittery flowers on it and the clips for thigh-high stockings. It's nice. That outfit, plus the dress that I have and the new outfit I just got are going to be perfect for taking pictures in. I can't wait.

I am getting up at 43o in the morning tomorrow to work out. I love this work out game, also tomorrow I am getting the sfact 2 from www.sfactor.com
I can't wait. I am going to do that after work tomorrow. ooh half an hour before bedtime.

It's so hard for me to post lately! I hate it. I had to change my plans w/ Jamie, but not too much. We are just not going out to eat or dancing. Maybe we will go to a club who knows. We are going to his friends house for dinner.
I am so pissed right now. I am working 8 days in a row. I requested 3 days off this week. I asked Dan if that would be ok, I wouldn't have requested 2 days off in a row if I couldn't have gotten a third day off this week. I have to work a pm on monday, a mid on tuesday and then an am on wednesday. Why couldn't I have tuesday off? Why the fuck am I working on a day w/ 140 arrivals and Toufik is going to be there. There's no reason for me to freakin work. At all. 140 arrivals is nothing. At the last meeting we had Dan said that if we help them out that will not mean that when we want time off that they will help us out.

Just went back and bitched some more and about had it out w/ Rachel and now I have Tuesday off. Fine by me.

I worked out yesterday at 4:30 am! I am so proud of myself. I didn't this morning because I stayed at Jamie's, but I am going to go home and do a flexibility workout when I get home. I am going to get up early tomorrow and do a work out too. I am so ready to get in shape! I love, LOVE my new work out DVD from playstation (yourself fitness for PS2).
Jamie just brought me flowers!!!! He dropped them off at work for me! How sweet is that?! He wrote me a really sweet card too! AWWWWW yea for me!

I want to move to San Diego (I am so sick of cold weather and we just opened a hotel there) but I would miss everyone here so much.

I have my Dr's appointment tomorrow. I am excited about that woo-hoo!

Dammit! Jamie has plans for next weekend already. I am pretty damn disappointed, but oh well. It will just have to wait another week. Dammit.

I got it!!!!!!!! I know what I am getting Jamie for Valentine's Day. Marisa said I should do more, but I don't think she knows what she is talking about. lol (I love you honey)



Jamie's Valentine's Day

On valentine's day I am going to give him a letter thanking him for how good he is to me, and always making me feel adored and pampered and special and the letter will also tell him how important he is to me, and everything I like about him. After the letter I am going to give him an itinerary for his present. His present is...drumroll please....

First we are going to go to Ann Sather's for breakfast for 2 (he loves the place, I love the place, why fix it if it's not broken?!) Second, a trip to the record store that he has wanted to go to forever and I am gonna buy him what ever he wants. Third I am sending him to the Palmer House for a straight edge shave, a hair cut and wash, and an hour long full body massage, (buy a woman of course) then it's off to dinner at Geja's which is supposed to be one of the most romantic restaurants in the city and they have belly dancers.Then salsa dancing. He loves salsa dancing.

I asked off for the whole weekend so I can stay out late w/ him and we can spend the whole weekend together. In bed. lol, well that's my present, (can't forget about the DVD coming in the mail today!! Woo-hoo!). I think that's a decent present. I am pretty excited about it. I just want to make him feel pampered, but not in a girly way. Which is why I wanted to send him to the American Male. This day kinda sounds girly, but I don't think it will be too bad. I mean, I am not getting him a facial and a pedicure.

I spent all afternoon cooking! This morning went by so freakin slow, and then I get home and the time flies. I think I am going to get up at 4 tomorrow to go w/ Marisa to work. I don't know what the hell I am going to do for that hour while she is working and I am not, but oh well. I made No Pudge fudge brownies in the mint flavor cuz they are awesome and now I won't need to go and get candy out of the concierge chest, I am also making a ton of chili, I am going to have enough for about 2 weeks maybe. I was going to make dinner tonight but I am done cooking and Marisa is going to if she ever comes back. I have so much healthy food right now, there is no way I am eating bad this week. I wish I would have worked out today though. Hopefully tomorrow.

I get my spanking DVD on Wednesday! Yea for me!

I am trying to think of some really awesome things to do for Jamie for Valentine's Day. So far I have a few ideas:

1. Get his hair washed by a hairstylist. The only time he has ever had his hair washed by someone else is when I did it when he stayed at the hotel w/ me. I am by no means a professional. I think it is one of the best things in the world. The tricky part is that I have a male stylist and I am not going to set up an appointment for him to get his hair washed by a guy. That would just be wrong. It has to be a girl, preferably one w/ large breasts, but ya know, one thing at a time.
2. 
   I want to get him a hot shave, w/ a straight edge. He's never had one of those either. I wanted to send him to American Male. It's this barber shop in the city that is just for guys. They only hire female stylists, and they have leather couches to sit on while the guys wait and they can watch sports, and smoke cigars. They don't give the hot shaves though. although they do offer my next idea...
3. 
   A massage. Specifically for his calves, but whole body would be good too, just not a rub and tug, I am not that great of a girlfriend. lol.
   
   I want to get him something that he will really enjoy and that will be something that just fits him perfectly , I still owe him a xmas present. I am going to get him a gift certificate to this funky record store that is by my apartment. ooh I could get him those "love coupons" lol, just for a little side present. That would be corny, it would make him laugh. lol. *sigh* decisions, decisions.

I just worked out! I am beat. I also ordered 2 other work out DVD's. The Sfactor 2 intermediate DVD w/ the lap dance instruction, and I ordered the Yourself fitness for PS2. I also got a ball awhile back. Which comes in handy for more than one activity. Hmm I just got inspired! Laying over the ball would be a great spanking position, and there's a slight possibilty for spanking and giving head at the same time...hmmmm. The sex shop down the road also has the sex wedges, I want those so bad. Jamie has no idea what he's gotten himself into. lol.

Yesterday I was planning on hanging out w/ Jamie, but he had a lot of stuff to do so he didn't think he would have time. Since he got mad on Friday about me not having time I was pretty pissed, he also went out to shoot at some clubs on Saturday night so we didn't get alone time. He said he wanted to pick me up from work anyway, even though he said on Friday that I thought he was my chauffeur, I told him not to bother, but he did anyway. He brought me flowers, and a vase to put them in (that he bought at another store, not the flower shop) and chocolate covered strawberries. (once something works why change it right? LOL. They were yummy) I thought he was just trying to buy his way out of being in trouble so I just said that they were pretty and I thanked him, and said that he still had a lot of sucking up to do. (LOL, I was bitter cuz I wanted to get laid) I called Marisa while he ran up to the condo to grab something and she said that he asked her along time ago what kind of flowers I liked and that he was planning on giving them to me for awhile. Of course my attitude changed pretty quick and when he came back I apologized and told them how pretty they were and that I thought he was just trying to buy his way out of the dog house. He said that they were a "thank you" for meeting his friend Tony and that he really appreciated that. They were pink and white callalillies, so beautiful. After I found that out I offered to come over and help him clean his room while he did other stuff on the computer, and then we could go out to dinner w/ Marisa, Steph, and Lacey. The bad part was that after Steph and Lacey left I was feeding both of us (and occasionally Marisa) the strawberries, while I straddled his lap and I was getting a little hot and bothered. I did not feel like cleaning when we got back to his place. He shot me down, though, at least until he did a few things on his computer, then it was on like donkey kong. LOL. On Saturday Marisa, Jamie and I went to the Pleasure Chest and I got this whip that has tassels on it that are made out of rubber. I really didn't think it would feel that good but we tried it out last night and it is hot! We also went back yesterday w/ Steph and Lacey and we were checking out the rabbits and all the other toys. We are the kind of girls that have to try everything out. LOL. Jamie was red the whole time we were in there, it was so cute.

I had the great idea of going to IKEA today, and getting a car from I-GO, but if I spent the money on that then I wouldn't have any money to spend at IKEA. Marisa and I have decided (I think) that I am getting a loft bed and that way we will have more room in here, and it will be way more organized.

"I don't understand constipation, just sit a little longer"

It is pretty hard for me to post updates lately. I am usually busy hanging out w/ Jamie, not having sex (I am kinda bitter about that today) or Marisa is at home, (I don't like to post w/ people sitting there) or I just don't feel like it. When I get home I am way too tired. I thought I would post today though because work is so damn slow.

Yesterday I met Jamie's parents. He didn't tell them I was coming, then he didn't wake me up in time to get ready (miscommunication) so they had to wait on me and then they knew I stayed there the night before, not a good first impression, even after all of that I still had fun, they are really nice and funny. Jamie is just like his mom. lol. Then later on we met up w/ some friends of his. His friends are really awesome. All the guys I have met so far that he is friends w/ are so funny and nice, and they all want the best for him. Me and Marisa made him go into the sex shop w/ us. lol. He was red almost the whole time we were in there.


Marisa: Sorry I put that picture up, you are right it's not the best picture of you, but Jamie looked so cute so I had to put it up, maybe I will crop you out, I was just tired when I put it up. Did you see the cards Jamie got for us? We had to wait awhile before someone came to let us into the building so we got cards, now we can play poker!

I have tomorrow off! Woo-hoo! I have all mornings again this week. Hopefully I will be able to start getting up and working out this week on a regular basis.

So far Marisa and I are not annoying each other too much yet. lol. Acctually I don't know if I have been annoying to her, except when I ask her repeatedly not to give out the apartment number, but it's ok, she gets me back about the cat. lol.

I ordered that video,can't wait to get it, let the fun begin! lol

Of course now I feel bad about writing that stuff about Keith. I am so sick of sacrificing my feelings for his. He wouldn't call me because of his problems, and because I got upset about that I didn't care about his problems. Well where in that scenario does he care about mine? I am all about compromise, and I am sick of having to give up what's best for me for him. I will give a little but he wants me to give it all. Yes we had fun, yes we had good times, otherwise I wouldn't miss him so much. Right now I am mad at him. I am writing about it on my journal, I am not calling him and bitching. I don't really hate him. I am angry w/ him and it hurts and I have to deal w/ it. Why can't he deal w/ that? Why does he have to make me feel bad, especially when the reason I am so pissed is because of him. He's already hurt me and now he is just making it worse because he won't stop reading my journal. If he would then I could pretend that nothing is wrong until eventually nothing is wrong. I don't even know why it matters because we don't talk anyway. It would be nice if it could go back to the way it was before but I doubt it will, at least not for awhile.

Cathy Rigby the 2-time olympic gymnast is here. woo-hoo. So is Janet Higgins, and she is funny as hell. I don't know if she is famous or not but she cracks my ass up

Keith read my journal again and he decided to send me an email. I like how he emails me after I say something about him on here, but he can't just email me to say hi. I put on a previous post that it wasn't about him as much as it was just about me and what I have to deal w/, but he doesn't care. He's just afraid that he will look bad. Why would he even care, nobody on here knows him. Plus I am not saying anything that is not true. He said I don't take responsibility for my part of our problems. I know I was overly sensitive and that I could have been a little more laid back. He refuses to see that he treated me badly in any way other than leaving me after we had sex that one time. Because rarely saying nice things about the person you are w/ but mentioning how every other girl on t.v. is hot is a good thing. Not calling for 3 weeks, oh yeah girls love that. Not showing any affection, ohmigod sweep me off my feet. Telling me all I do is bitch if I come to him w/ a problem, stop I can't take it any more. Why do I still care about him? I have no clue. That email pretty much made my ass twitch last night because he blames every bad part of the relationship on the fact that I was "always bitching" Fine obviously we don't get along.

In other breaking news it's wednesday, that means icecream in the cafeteria. I had a Peanutbutter Moo'd from Jamba Juice earlier, it tastes like the peanut butter and banana icecream that I used to get from cold stone's. MMM it was good, but it had 880 calories in it. That's not gonna happen again. lol

My check came in the mail yesterday so tomorrow I am going shopping! I also did my tax return and I am getting a small chunk of change back. I am planning to pay my rent and also get a few more things to help organize my closets and stuff for my kick ass apartment. Plus Marisa is bringing her 200 bucks tomorrow, so that means I can pay a few bills too. Woo-hoo. It's so nice having that couch in there.

I am so awake today it's unreal. I haven't had this much energy in 2 months! Jamie is coming over again tonight and he took tomorrow off so we could hang out. He told me he loved me last night.....because I made him a sandwich. lol. My kind of guy. lol

I haven't kept up my work out. lol. Tonight I can't do it either because I have to stay at work until 5:30 because of a meeting and then I am going to hang out w/ Jamie again. Although tomorrow morning is looking promising.

I am going to take 2 classes online next semester and I am going to take 2 at school. That way I can be a full time student, and do my classes at work. And if I take night classes I will just work mornings and then I can take salsa classes or a martial arts class or whatever my fickle interest is that month. lol.

FINALLY! I don't feel completely worn out and just barely able to do anything because I can't keep my eyes open. I just hope they don't switch me back to nights now. lol. At least that is going to be easier to adjust to.

My Evaluation

I got my evaluation from work today. I only got exceeds expectations in 1 catagory which was "Displays friendliness and courtesy to guests" I got a meets expectations in team work, "Gets along w/ and assists co-workers" I didn't get an exceeds in that catagory because I get along "too well" and I am in conversation w/ a coworker when a guest walks up occasionally. I got a ME (almost a below expectations) in "Accepts direction and follows through, accepts constructive criticism" I was asking at the end of December when I was going to get my eval, and I asked a month after I started how I was doing so I would know where I was. I also got a B.E. in "Knows procedures, subject matter and method of operation" They even said that that was because I was not trained properly. I don't understand how that should reflect poorly on me. It should be how much I know based on what I was taught. I got an M.E. for "Reports as scheduled, provides proper notice to supervisor when absent" I came down to work to give Dan a note from my doctor when I was sick, the day I got the note, I call at least 4 hours ahead of time when I am not going to make it or need something adjusted. Usually at least a day before. That so should have been and E.E. I also got a below average for "Neat, appropriate dress and grooming standards" because there was a rip in my uniform jacket. I have been asking for 2 months "where's my new jacket?" I was so embarassed to have a jacket w/ a tear in it. I got my new jacket and I didn't want to take it off when I went to change cuz I was so happy that I don't have to wear the fade, too small, shabby one w/ a rip in it any more. I also only got a M.E. for self-started, minimal supervision, strives for a better way to do job." I believe I remember being the first one they trained that checked people in on their first day, and considering Jennifer is only the second person, and I was there helping to train her and told her to go ahead andcheck someone in, and she worked at a hotel before I think that that should be an E.E. and I worked how many times w/o a manager. Twice w/ Katisha, and 2 or 3 times I have worked all by myself, w/ one operator, when Dan was no where to be found when they went on breaks, and I was literally the only one there at least twice. Plus that also goes back to the asking what I can do better all the time. There was also a comment that I need to improve tardiness record to be more respectful of the schedules of other associates. Ok, who moved her schedule back so Margo could take her vacation first so Dan wouldn't get screwed that week even though I asked for my time when I started and Margo started after me? Who let Dan take cigarette breaks before he would give me my lunch when I was there by myself? Who stayed overtime when everyone else called in sick and worked 2 and a half shifts in one 32 hour period? Who rarely takes her 15 minute breaks and rarely goes longer for the 30 minute breaks even though several other people take hour long lunches? Who came in even though she called off 4 hours ahead of time and could have easily not come in and finished her 10 page paper to save Dan's ass again, and then got shit for it from Sherry because Dan didn't follow through and tell Sherry and Toufik about it? Mmhmm that's right all me. I think my some of that could have been highlighted in my strenght's paragraph. It seems that they just put filler in for that. "Elisha is motivated to learn and wants to improve her knowledge of the overall hotel operation. She has received positive feedback from many of our guests. She is flexible w/ scheduling and willing to work am's, pm's, and mids." Why isn't the fact that I have the most comment cards on the board in the basement somewhere in there? Why isn't the fact that I did move my vacation or worked overtime on New Years on there? Why isn't it on there that I was checking in people on the first day on there? I think I am going to talk to Dan about it again, but I am not sure.