Ok I am definitely moving. I am sick of people that I know reading my blog because they don't have the balls to talk to me about whatever it is they want to know, or reading all about me and giving nothing of themselves, or thinking that something I wrote almost 2 yrs ago when I was dating crazy guys that wanted me to be in a serious relationship w/ them after 1 date (the description of my journal that I have been too damn lazy to change) is something that still applies today. If you want to know the new address leave a comment.

Lori and I are freakin awesome! I did not want to go running tonight at all. I was stressed out about quiting and I knew if I didn't do it today then that would be another week that I would have to work there. Plus I didn't sleep great last night so I was beat. Lori called to go running but I told her I was too tired. After laying here for 2 minutes I felt like an ass and got dressed and waited for her to walk by. She went w/ me to quit and I did. I am going to be on call though. I probably will have to work this week anyway, but it's ok because it's my last week. Then whenever they need me I can be there, and if I can't get there until 6 then that's ok. How perfect is that? I was so nervous! I wanted to throw up. K. scares the crap out of me. Well anyway back to why Lori and I are so kick ass. Our goal for tonight was to run 4 miles w/o stopping. Yesterday we did 1.5 so I wasn't so sure. We did it! We only stopped for the red light and to get a quick sip of water at the fountains. We are so freakin awesome! Tomorrow we are going to run 4 and walk 1! This is so cool because we set this goal last week and we did it. And to think I was just going to lay in bed and stress myself out! Plus I came home and did a quick ab work out. I know Lori went and did abs and buns when she got home. I climbed 3 flights of stairs to get to my room so that is all the butt work I am doing. lol. I am going to pass out now.

I don't know why I think the way I do sometimes. There was alot of down time today and I started thinking about CL. For a second I thought maybe he's right. (not about the making shit up and trying to get a rise out of him because that's bullshit) Maybe he was right about the email I sent him. I admit I was bitchy in it, but maybe he was actually interested and I let my fears get the better of me. Then I realized that no, if he really was interested and he was just too busy then he still could have offered up another time to hang out when he was free. Plus while I was bitchy, everything I said was true, not made up and he didn't once come back w/ the way something "really happened" instead of what I "made up." But anyway, he also got personnal whereas I did not. I just don't know why I try making up excuses for guys. Actually I think today I started thinking how nice it would have been if things were different. Oh well, I just have to stop that.
I have decided that I am not going to hit on any guys on Thursday and I am definitely not going back on personnals. I really want a guy who will actually ask me out in real life. I am not going to ask a guy out or hit on him first. I just want a guy who's confident enough to go over to a girl that smiles at him when he catches her eye.

I awoke to find another letter slipped under my door. My first thought was what the fuck is wrong w/ people that they don't realize that first thing in the morning in not the best time for a positive response from me? I hate, absolutely hate getting up in the morning. I am a crab ass, all I want to do is eat or have sex. Until I get at least food all I can really do is stumble around and grunt. When I get a pissy letter all I want to do is fight. It's like "you have angered the gods, you will now suffer" followed by a lot of angry growling. lol. So anyway I read the letter and it's not a pissy letter at all. It is a huge guilt trip. I feel awful. It's all about how Jamie is beating himself up over the letter and how much he misses me. It breaks my heart. I really wish there was something I could do.

Lori and I are so extremely corny. I love it. We are so supportive of each other. Every time we do good on our runs we tell each other how awesome we are. Plus we are always telling each other how lucky we are to be friends and all the good stuff that other one has going for them. She told me that I was an answer to her prayers. She said she prayed for someone awesome to work w/ and that God sent me to work w/ her. I think she is absolutely awesome and the sweetest person in the world. I also think that after reading this post that God answered my prayers too, even if I didn't realize I was praying.

A certain butthead did a search and found my journal. I am going to have to kill him. I noticed a new reader today and I thought it was a little odd. Anyway, I was making my spagehetti and Jamie came down and jumped right into it. He really pissed me off at first. He also thanked me for putting "a stigma on his birthday for the rest of his life" I told him not to put that shit on me and he replied w/ "I'll put whatever shit I want to on you." I think that was his reply by the time he got to whatever I was yelling at him to do it on his own time and not mine cuz I wasn't going to listen to it. I doubt that will be the last time he yells at me, but at least we ended it on a decent note. I think he got it out of his system for now. I also mentioned the next time he eats all my Sarah Lee wheat bread he better buy the same kind and not Jewel's generic shit. He said that I write a lot of shit on here. lol. He said most of it made him laugh and the rest made him want to beat the shit out of me. I do have that effect on people. Seriously though, this is my journal. It's my perspective of how things happen. It's not going to be the same as someone else's perspective. How many times does that simple concept need to be explained? I think this thing is too damn easy to find. I need to make it a bit harder. Oh Jamie also yelled at me because he dumped me, because I haven't come to talk to him after he told me he didn't care about how I felt and various other evils that I have done. I really wish there was a way to be friends w/ him. I miss him alot.

Lori and I were planning on running most of the 4 miles today, but we had to really push ourselves to get to the 1.5 mile marker. We turned around and walked home. I think it was because we went running late last night and it hadn't even been 15 hours since then. I am so sore right now. I was thinking about putting my profile back up on yahoo because I am a loser. I knew if I told Lori about it she would be able to talk me out of it. Of course she did and now she is going to be my wingman on Thursday when we go to the bar after work. It's going to be great because we will be dressed up and looking cute for Wicked. Oh before we went for a run I made my profile and accidentally put searchable so it popped up for a few hours today. I ended up getting 2 replies. I quickly took it down, but I emailed one of the guys. I figured I might as well, didn't want to be rude. :-) I just want to go on some dates and have fun. I want a reason to dress up. Anyway. Today I am going to clean and try to organize my room and I am going to make spaghetti later. mmmmm.

I have to get out of the apartment. I was going to take a nap and watch a movie, but I just can't. I am going to go and take some pictures at the zoo and ride my bike around.

I am so happy I got Andrea to cover my shift today. I am beat. Although I actually got to leave on time last night. I love most of the wait staff, but I can not work another shift there. As soon as I walked in the door I got in the pissiest mood I have been in, in a long time. There were a few customers there that made me smile and wish I liked it more. Another good thing about not working there any more is that I won't have to watch all the couples on dates every Friday.
R. gave me a ride to work. It was really sweet of her. She offered to do it every night she's not doing something after work. I hope we all start getting along better, but I doubt it. I don't trust her at all. Oh, some good news about work! First I did get a dollar raise, second, Lori and I are going to the dress rehearsal for the Chicago cast of Wicked on Thursday!!We have really wanted to go for awhile and when R. found out she talked to Ms. P. about the conceirge's getting to go to the dress rehearsal. Well at first she thought we were talking about going w/ them so she was all "where did you hear about that?" cuz CSR girls are not supposed to know about the invites to events. I told her we hadn't and that I was talking about going to see the New York cast next week before they left. Well anyway she talked to Ms. P. and Ms. P. decided to let us go for free w/ them. We called her and gushed and thanked her. Then when Lori was on break Ms. P. called me back and was like "Hello! You know I was telling K. how you called to thank me for the wicked tickets and he said, they thanked you for the tickets and not the raises? Hahaha isn't that funny" I laughed it off and said oh yeah I didn't even realize, thank you for the raises O...." I was so mad after that. First of all K. is always telling us how we should not dwell on the negative and that we think about the positive, but he just zoomed in on us not thanking her for the raises which were based on "merit and skill and improvement." He didn't say oh how wonderful that they called you and were so excited. Jerk.

Lori and I just ran 2 miles, walked half and then ran the other 1.5! We are awesome!!! It wasn't even that hard except at the very end of the first 2 when my shoulder started to hurt really bad. I didn't even feel too exhausted and we ran way faster than we normally do. I am glad that we ran in the humidity and heat now. I am trying to get Andrea to cover my shifts at the 2nd job because I have decided to quit. I just can't work so late and if I can't get there when they need me then it's not going to work. I am wondering how I am going to go to school and work full time, but I will figure something out because I need to get through school!

I had alot of fun w/ the girls tonight. Lori is really upset about all the crap that's going on w/ the office. Kirby keeps saying she is negative and that she is bringing me down w/ her and that she arguementative and defensive. I am way more negative than she is. He told me thanks at my eval. because since we "talked" that one day about the contract for the uniforms everything has been much more positive. Lori is having a hard time not starting to believe that she is just argumentive and defensive and negative. Lori is Miss Bubbly. I sit reclined in my chair w/ my arms crossed over my chest. I know how she feels, when people think bad about me I so fall into it and start believing that I am whatever they think of me. We all just gave her a pep talk and hopefully got her to really realize that she is a good person. She was a missionary in South Africe for a year for crying out loud. Oh and today R. mentioned having to get a mamogram on her lunch. I said ow that sucks. then..
R: you're to young to have had one
E: Ya, but my Grandma had one and she told me all about it
R: You'r Grandma, you mean your mom.
The way she reacted to my saying my grandma had one was like she thought that I was saying she is as old as my gram's and that how dare I compare her to my Grandma.
E: No, my grandma
R: You're mom had to have had one.
E: No my mom never did
R:Why not
E: My mom passed away...
She then asked me how and what happened and I really didn't want to talk to her about it because her tone seemed like she was just asking so she could go and talk about it later w/ everyone else. I have purposefully not ever brought up my mom around anyone in the office besides Grez, Chloe, and Lori. Well we talked and she said her mom died last yr and she opened up about it and everything so for a moment I liked her again and felt really bad for her. I still don't trust her, but at least for a moment she wasn't being manipulative.

Also Lori and I had dictionary time today at work. There's this guy who comes in, we will just call him B. Soper. (pronounced So Pur) When ever he comes in I always add words to his last name. It started out w/ B. Sopurdy, cuz he's attractive, then it went to B. Soperfect, then Sopersnicketty, etc. Well Lori thinks this is the funniest thing because her mind always thought of soap like soaper and she gets a kick out of the fact that my mind works the other way. We tried to list all the per words we knew but didn't get very far so I went to borrow a dictionary and we just sat there putting funny words on the end of his name. lol We are so bored at work.

I had kind of a crazy day. I went and got my evaluation done. I got a raise. They didn't tell me how much, but I am sure it was at least a dollar. Also my 401k and my insurance starts. And CL and I aren't talking at all anymore. Yesterday I told him that I felt like he wasn't very open. I woke up to his reply this morning which was "since I can't go through your building I haven't been open, in fact I've been closed" Well that pissed me off since I told him about 4 times (at least) that he could go through the building. I got pretty pissy and I didn't want to feel like a jack ass by always asking him to hang out when he never tried to spend time w/ me. He is always so busy, how am I supposed to know when he's free? He could have said no I am busy, but I am free here, here, or here, but he never did. He said that I was making everything up and just trying to get a rise out of him so I could write about it and that I am used to just filling in everything to suit myself. That really hurt and I got really pissed, especially because I didn't say anything like that to him. I was bitchy and kind of mean, but he crossed the line. He said then that if the conversation was going to keep going like that then he wasn't going to respond. I told him if he felt that I was the kind of person to make shit up and get a rise out of someone just to type about then he didn't know me and if that's what he thought then we shouldn't talk any more. I was really hurt because I don't let many people I know read this and he told me how he would never use my journal against me and all that crap. Lori doesn't even have my permission to read this. Oh well, I really liked him alot and hoped that he liked me and I was disappointed that he was always busy so it's a good thing he did say that because he just made it all so much easier for me. I would have been really upset and all boo-hoo if he wouldn't have. I don't need to make shit up to write about. First of all I don't write for anyone's entertainment, but it's great if someone is entertained by it all. Second, why would I need to make stuff up?

I didn't wear my heels or skirt to work. I chickened out even though it would have been the perfect night. No one was there. Anyway I wore this cool green shirt and I got a few compliments. My boobs looked pretty good in it if I might add. I am too hard on them sometimes. Anyway drinks w/ the girls tomorrow night and running w/ Lori. I was going to get dressed up and look pretty for the drinks, but I just don't think I am going to now. We will see how I feel when I get up.

I am definitely going through withdrawls. I was reading some of my archives from when me and Keith were together and I picked a month where we were obviously fighting alot. After I read about a couple of big fights we got into I was all "I miss Keith...*sniff*" I don't miss fighting with him, but I do really miss being w/ him when we weren't fighting. Then again the other day I was thinking how Kyle wasn't really that bad of a boyfriend and that I really did love him before things started to go bad. While it's true I did love him and he was a good boyfriend for awhile, it just goes to show that I'm insane. I also emailed CL yesterday. It's true I am a glutton for punishment and self-torture. I can't help it.

Lori and I went for 4 miles today! Woo-hoo! We ran one and a half walked one and then ran the last mile and a half. On Thursday we are going to try to run 2, walk half then run one and a half. Tomorrow I think I am going to wear my skirt and stilleto's to job #2. I know I am going to regret wearing those shoes, but I will worry about that when I get there. Hopefully we are kinda slow. I had fun at work today, it's been awhile since that happened. I had to retake that stupid test to see if I improved any. I know I improved some, but I don't think I improved as much as Lori did. K. was there to tell her what she put as an answer on her first test so she knew not to put that again.I didn't get that, but oh well. I will find out tomorrow when I go back for my 90 day evaluation.

I had a rather interesting day today. I rode my bike to work and I got hit by a car. Actually it was a stupid bitch in a big ass SUV. God women drivers suck! She didn't even acknowledge that she hit me. She just sat there staring straight ahead. Luckily we were both going slow because of the red light up ahead, but she did not give me enough room at all and her mirror hit my arm and threw me off balance causing me to fall back into the SUV. It didn't hurt, it just shocked me. Then I spent half the morning trying to convince Lori that I should be allowed to date. lol. I am so pathetic. I was trying to tell her that I like being single, but there are things that I like to do that can't be done while being single. For instance, holding hands and cuddling. And that I am an independent person, I just like being in a relationship. (I swear Lori I can quit anytime I want! lol) Luckily she wasn't having any of it and talked some sense into me. It's really sad because there's no one even asking me out. I have no one to go out w/ and yet I'm still trying. lol. I am going for a run in a little bit w/ Lori and then I am hopefully going to come home and crash. I am going to try lifting weights after I run though, it just depends on how tired I am.

Good news and bad news... Good news is that the 5th season of The Soprano's is out on DVD. Sweet! Bad news.... On Wednesday my Uncle thought he was having a heart another heart attack and went to the hospital and my cousin went into early labor. Did anyone tell me any of this? Oh no, I just found out today.Thanks guys. Luckily my uncle wasn't having another heart attack and went back to work the next day and they stopped Crystal's contractions. Also my Great Aunt and her son and daughter-in-law and their kid went to visit my gram's. They called her and left a message saying they were coming up. They didn't ask at all. Then they told her it would just be the four of them and they ended up bringing the daughter-in-law's mom and never forwarned my gram's. How rude is that? Seriously. My grandma lives in a very tiny house and isn't in the best health and they just decide to come up and visit and then bring someone extra.

Ok, I thought the first Willy Wonka's chocolate factory was scary. Seriously had nightmares. This new one though, blows it out of the water! I am scared just from the previews. Why do people think that kids are going to be ok seeing something like that? I would let my kids watch every Nightmare on Elm street or Chucky movie before I let them watch Willy Wonka! Willy Wonka is a freak, a scary scary freak.
I am so tired! About 2 miles into running I felt like I could just lay down and fall asleep. I came home and after I started some laundry and ate breakfast I passed out for about an hour. I had this really weird dream about Kyle and his family then I felt like I was choking and had to force myself awake out of such a deep sleep. I am not going to go to the rollerderby tonight because I am still so tired and I feel kind of crappy. I just want to lay around and do some cleaning and paint my nails.

Rib Fest Rocks My World!!!

I was so happy when Lori said she was interested in going to the ribfest too! I would never have gone by myself. We went running this morning and then I came back to clean my room and shower. Then we met back up and went to Old Navy and Payless and T.J. Max and Filene's Basement. Then w/o taking our goods home we went to wait for the redline. Big mistake since there was a cubs game. We eventually gave up and hopped on the brown to Fullerton and then transferred to the #11 bus to the ribfest. I was so proud of us, going on an adventure that involved transferring to a bus. But really, can you ask for a better adventure than one that ends in a ribfest? We got ribs and fries from The Lincoln Restaurant. MMMMMMMMM the sauce tasted like sweet baby ray's and it was so good. Then we wandered around and bought stuff that we didn't need (I ended up w/ 2 pairs of sunglasses, even though I bought 2 pairs at old navy) then I got this awesome portrait of this girl, she might be famous, but I don't know. Lori got one of Audry Hepburn. It looks awesome. I made out like a bandit at old navy too. Lori got this cute straw hat. I have one in my closet, but she looked so cute I was like I wish I had a cute straw hat to wear. After the rib fest we were walking and we randomly went into a store. I can't remember the name but I will find it cuz if you are ever in Chicago you need to go! The owner was so awesome and so friendly we loved her. She can be a mini. She gave us a discount on the stuff we bought and gave us a book on chicago. One book each. That's amazing. She said the only thing she wanted in return was for us to come back. We talked w/ her for like 30 minutes. She was so awesome. And I bought a straw hat so Lori and I were walking around w/ big staw hats and sunglasses. We looked like tourists. Cute tourists. Oh at the ribfest we saw Maggie Speaks perform. They are kick ass. The singer went from Prince, to Eminem to Michael Jackson then Vanilla Ice. It was a riot. He was cute too. I went to talk to them when they were done. I asked him where they were playing next and I think his girlfriend or wife came over and was like, you can get a flyer over there. It was kinda funny. She was hot. It was such an awesome time and I am completely wiped out. Tomorrow's the rollerderby! Woo-hoo! Lori was telling R. about and Lori said that I would be great at a roller derby and R. asked her why. Lori told her that I could kick ass w/ the best of them. (how sweet is lori? lol) She said that R.'s face dropped and she just stared at her for a second then she completely changed the subject.

Ohmigod yeseterday sucked! My feet starting cramping aroun 10pm from wearing heels fro 14 hours straight and running around in them for 4 and a half. I ended up working until 12:30, which wasn't that bad. Then I got up at quarter to 8 to go running w/ Lori and after I clean my room and jump in the shower we are going to go to Old Navy and then to the rib fest! Woo-hoo! K. (at job # 2) wants me to come in and work tonight. I am supposed to go to the blue's fest tonight w/ Chloe and her parents, but I think I just want to relax at home. Especially since tomorrow is the roller derby. I am pretty lucky that I didn't wear my skirt and stilleto's that I planned on wearing to work last night. I would have been crying. I need a couple of pairs of shoes too. Payless here I come.

I thought Madagascar would be funnier, but it wasn't bad. The King of Leemurs is so Ms. P. And the Lion is a blasphemer but I can't say why cuz I would spoil it. I was the only one watching the movie for about 5 minutes and then a guy came in watched for awhile and left before it was over. It was kinda weird.

Chloe and Lori both had other plans for tonight and Grezina and I were too damn tired to go out so we are all going to a roller derby on Sunday. Don't ask me why. I think I will go to the movies tonight. Madagascar looks funny and it's at the theater next to my apartment. Yes I think that's exactly what I will do. Then I think I will come home for some quality alone time ;-) I need to clean my room too. Also why is it that everyone volunteers to play soccer w/ me, but then on perfect days to go play no one wants to? Beats the hell out of me.

If it wasn't for Lori I would do some pretty stupid things. First the ex lax and now this. I was trying to think of a time when I wasn't retarded when it comes to guys and ya know there wasn't a time. I had my first crush in kindergarten on a boy named Chad. I named my puppy after him. In first grade I brought the puppy to show n tell. Oh yes. I did. My mom was mortified, but why she didn't stop me I don't know. Why she didn't stop me from naming the damn dog chad is an even greater mystery. I just can't help myself. I try, but I am too damn retarded. But I listen to my friends. I was thinking at work today that it's been over a month since me and Jamie broke up. I was so excited because it didn't seem like a month and I was doing great. I got home and found out that it's only been like 3 weeks, maybe. lol. That sucks. I thought it was like 5. lol.

I am so lame, I just told Lori I would pay her 12 bucks to work my last hour for me. lol. She is so sweet she did it. And she called K. to ask him if she could. I did end up walking out yesterday. K. never called to tell me if I was ok'd or not to leave so I just called out and left. I thought for sure they would fire me today when I went in, but they didn't even say anything. Although I did have to have a little talk w/ K. about being so difficult about stuff at work. He brought this stupid contract about make-up and our uniforms for me to sign. It said if you quit before your 90 days then you have to pay for your uniform. 90 days is the probation period for both parties, I shouldn't have to pay 500 a suit if I was on my probation period. Anyway, I was reading it and he's like "*sigh* I guess you can read it since you are going to sign it" and then I asked him to clarify about the uniforms and he said that it was just about the alterations. Well I am not going to pay for those either and he said that it's common sense that it's just any extra alterations. I said it wasn't obvious to me since it said "should the employee terminate employment w/in 90 day probation period, employee will have to pay for the uniforms." I told him I have only had 1 other uniform for a job and we didn't have to sign anything like that. So he made me go and talk to him away from Lori and he was saying that she getting me riled up about things and that I am only making a fuss because she did. Well she initialed every paragraph. I just had a damn question about the uniforms because I know Ms. P. tried to make Katie pay for hers.

I am pretty bummed tonight. I found out it's going to cost 6,600 bucks to get boobs like a 22 yr old. That sucks. I just get so angry at myself because I have worked so hard to get to where I am and there's nothing I can do about this. I am stuck w/ this.

Instead of running I ate cookies. I feel chubby...hehe.
I ran into Lynn on my way back from the grocery store. He was in a baseball hat and he looked so adorable! Lori is nice enough to switch me shifts tomorrow so I have to be at work at 7! Blah. Must go to sleep! Oh I haven't had french fries in over a week!!!!! I have been eating pretty good, although I did have Mcdonald's this morning. I ate way less than I normally would.

So R. is telling Ms. P. that we are snotty to her and she is calling her everyday. Ms. P. thinks that just because Lori and I are friends I am just backing up her story about R. smacking Lori on the leg. Ms. P. is gossiping to her other employees that we are snotty and causing problems and we are making the whole thing up. We worked at the office for 2 months and never once showed any kind of snotty behavior. I am so mad that Ms. P. is saying I am just following along w/ Lori. Yes because I am such a little sheep that I am going to follow along w/ whatever any one tells me. I hate R. She's a manipulative bitch and she better not come near me tomorrow or she will wish I was only being snotty. I am sick of this job. I am sick of being accused of lying everytime I open my mouth. I don't lie. I wanted to quit today because they weren't going to let me go to my Dr's appt and I didn't want to even be put in a position where I have to lie! And they still haven't said if I can go to the Dr, they are waiting until tomorrow so I can't call off work. They don't realize I will walk out.

never mind, Lori got a baby sitting job that starts tonight. Go Lori!

Today I got to go to work late and tomorrow I get out early. How nice for me. I watched Sponge Bob Square Pants today before work. That show is so weird, yet hysterical and not a little dirty.

I love Lynn! If he wasn't flaming I would marry him in a heartbeat. My hair is perfect as always. Emailed CL and explained that I wasn't mad at him. He says he was never not interested in hanging out w/ me, he was just busy. To me actions speak louder than words so.... but anyway back to my cute hair. It's really cute. I made a small dent in getting my bills this month. Next month I will owe Dr. A. only $45! Plus I will have quite a few other bills paid off and closer to my goals. Yea!

I told Dr. A. about asking CL to walk around the building to get his lunch. lol, he told me I shouldn't have done that. :-( He said he understood my motivation, but I shouldn't ask him to go out of his way to get his lunch. I tried to tell him that it was because I would get excited when I saw CL and I would want to text him and email and hang out w/ him and then I would be so disappointed when he didn't want to, but when I saw him again it would start the cycle over and I just don't want to do that. I don't want to beg some one to hang out w/ me if they aren't interested. If he's not interested then fine, I don't have a problem w/ that any more, I just don't want to drive myself crazy because he comes in and seems interested, but he's really not. Like I said I am not mad at him for anything. He didn't do anything wrong, I just wanted a couple of days to just get over the urge to ask him to hang out. By Friday afternoon when I saw him for lunch I was already over it. I told him he could go anyway he wanted through the building and I meant it. It doesn't matter anymore. I just don't want to bug him to hang out when he doesn't want to and I just didn't trust myself not to do that if he came in and looked at me like he was interested and was really sweet to me. But anyway

I get to go and get my hair dyed today! Yea!!!!

That was such an amazing party! That was the best birthday party that I have ever been to and it wasn't even mine. I am so glad that I could help make Lori's b-day so great. I know what it's like to have shitty birthdays, I have cried on everyone of my b-days since I was 16. I am so happy for Lori. We all had so much fun and I met Casey who is Lori's friend from Indiana. She is an awesome girl. She was saying that she has never really had great sex before and I was like oh honey, let me introduce you to Keith. lol. not really but almost. I told Lori later that generally speaking I would have 8 orgasms in 30 minutes w/ Keith everytime we had sex and the only way I would not want to still have sex was when I was too tired and couldn't move to roll over and get it. lol. Lori was like ohmigod I have never even heard of that. Awwww! I just want every woman to experience great sex, every man too. It would make the world so much happier. lol. Ok, I am a bit buzzed and tired.Gotta go to bed.

I went to the bookstore and picked up Lori's presents today. I hope she likes them. I got her a What Not To Wear book, not because she doesn't dress cute, but because she likes the show. I also got her a sushi kit. I am so excited for her party! We are going to watch fireworks from Chloe's apartment and then maybe go to a few bars.

I just watched Gardenstate and I was a little disappointed. It was ok, but nothing great. I liked Spanglish way more.

Tomorrow I am going to get my hair cut and dyed and I have a dr's appt. I am so excited. I also have to clean tomorrow and do my nails. I am going to be busy. At least until after I get my hair cut.

Lori and I just finished our first 5K!!!!! We are so proud of ourselves. I swallowed a bug in mile 2 and started coughing really bad, but I still didn't stop. We didn't walk once! At the finish line we were pretending everyone was cheering for us and that it was all the tenants from our building. lol. Nerds! Then after we finished this girl was standing there and it looked like she was handing out water to the finishers, and she looked right at me and said here's some water. Lori even said she looked at me. Plus she had 2 cups and it looked like the other one was for Lori so I took it. Well it was for one of her friends. lol. oops. It was pretty funny. She let me have it anyway. Now I am going to run some errands and then take a nap before Lori's b-day party. I am so excited. I am making 3 cheese tortillini w/ peas and damn I can't think of the name, but it's the fancy ham, is it pruschetta? and a parmasean cheese sauce. We are going to have so much fun!

I just watched Spanglish. I thought it was going to be light hearted and fun and I didn't want anything heavy. Ohmigod! It's a story about a girl's relationship w/ her mom. I bawled my eyes out at the end. It's so good though.

I emailed CL last night and asked him not to walk through the building any more. When he comes in and talks to me he seems interested and what not, but only once in the weeks we have known eachother has he tried to hang out w/ me. I got tired of going back in forth if he is interested or not and in order not to drive myself crazy w/ questioning it, I thought it would be best not to see him when he came to get his lunch. It all just seems like he's playing a big game to me. Anyway I explained myself pretty well in the letter. Lori agreed because she saw it this morning. Well I did see him when he came to get his lunch today because he came later than he usually does and I happened to be on my 10 minute break. He acted like I planned it and then asked why I had my hair and makeup done, like it was for him or something. (my hair did look cute today though, I tried some new curlers :-) Then after he got his stuff he went and talked to Lori and was telling her he didn't know why I was mad at him (first I wasn't mad, and second if he wanted to know why I didn't want to see him when he came through he should reread the email), but when she said to talk to me he told her he already yelled at me and he told her that he wanted her to know he wasn't avoiding her. After she told me that I asked if it seemed like he was hitting on her because that would be creepy, she said it didn't seem that way and that it seemed like he wanted me to see him talking to her. Then she added that that was still creepy. lol. She told me not to post about this on here because he probably likes reading about himself, but oh well. He can enjoy it while it lasts. I am actually posting about it because I am so proud of myself. Normally I would be wanting him to like me so bad and hang out w/ me that I would keep on trying until he quit showing up on his own, but I decided that I didn't want to play games and that I didn't want to be strung along until he had nothing better to do. Go me.

I have a Dr's appt on Tuesday at 4, but Ms. P. won't let me go because they won't fax over a confirmation card saying when my appt is. I can't bring it back after I go, I have to have proof that I am going before I go. I am just going to call in sick on Tuesday if they don't. I made the appt over the phone, I didn't go in so how am I supposed to have a confirmation card? Then K. wanted to call the Dr's office to ask them if I had an appt. This is fucking ridiculous. It's all people playing games

Yesterday and today sucked! The night before yesterday I got up 5 times in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom so I didn't get any sleep. Then at my first job I got stressed because this one company had over 200 people coming in throughout the day and they wouldn't listen to me and Lori about how to do it so they made our job so much harder. Plus we had to go to the main office to take these tests that they said had nothing to do w/ our raises (they lied) and they sent this one girl over who kept getting calls from her friend and going to the bathroom for 10 minutes at a time and she was just getting in our way. Then last night at the second job the manager made me stay til 11:15 when I was supposed to be done at 10. Today the same girl was training at the first job and she was just as bad, and because she didn't listen to me when I told her not to send a guy up w/o calling first I got yelled at, plus R. told Ms. P. that we were laughing at her at the meeting last week and then gave us great reviews to K. so it looks like she is being professional about everything, and they asked Lori if she wanted to be my supervisor and since she said no, they are going to ask me and I think they will split us up when I say no. I was so excited to go out for drinks but that wasn't even fun because I got all sad whenever Chloe and Grezina were talking about their boyfriends because their boyfriends are the greatest. Really they are. I just couldn't relax and I didn't feel like part of the group because I was in a bad mood. I am just so tired and stressed that I want to cry. Seriously, because I am sure it would make me feel much better. Well I haven't played w/ the bunny in over a week, maybe that's my problem.

Oh in happy news, Lori and I are running a 5k on Saturday for little girls w/ low self-esteem and Chloe is throwing a bday party for Lori Saturday night. We are supposed to bring people, but I have no one to invite. I think Gregina and Chloe will have enough extra people. I am not working my second job tomorrow night because of the 5k and because I just can't bare the thought of working from 8 to midnight tomorrow. I was going to try to push through so I could pay off bills sooner and then just go on vacation before school starts, but right now I am just not sure I can make it.