Ok I am definitely moving. I am sick of people that I know reading my blog because they don't have the balls to talk to me about whatever it is they want to know, or reading all about me and giving nothing of themselves, or thinking that something I wrote almost 2 yrs ago when I was dating crazy guys that wanted me to be in a serious relationship w/ them after 1 date (the description of my journal that I have been too damn lazy to change) is something that still applies today. If you want to know the new address leave a comment.

Lori and I are freakin awesome! I did not want to go running tonight at all. I was stressed out about quiting and I knew if I didn't do it today then that would be another week that I would have to work there. Plus I didn't sleep great last night so I was beat. Lori called to go running but I told her I was too tired. After laying here for 2 minutes I felt like an ass and got dressed and waited for her to walk by. She went w/ me to quit and I did. I am going to be on call though. I probably will have to work this week anyway, but it's ok because it's my last week. Then whenever they need me I can be there, and if I can't get there until 6 then that's ok. How perfect is that? I was so nervous! I wanted to throw up. K. scares the crap out of me. Well anyway back to why Lori and I are so kick ass. Our goal for tonight was to run 4 miles w/o stopping. Yesterday we did 1.5 so I wasn't so sure. We did it! We only stopped for the red light and to get a quick sip of water at the fountains. We are so freakin awesome! Tomorrow we are going to run 4 and walk 1! This is so cool because we set this goal last week and we did it. And to think I was just going to lay in bed and stress myself out! Plus I came home and did a quick ab work out. I know Lori went and did abs and buns when she got home. I climbed 3 flights of stairs to get to my room so that is all the butt work I am doing. lol. I am going to pass out now.

I don't know why I think the way I do sometimes. There was alot of down time today and I started thinking about CL. For a second I thought maybe he's right. (not about the making shit up and trying to get a rise out of him because that's bullshit) Maybe he was right about the email I sent him. I admit I was bitchy in it, but maybe he was actually interested and I let my fears get the better of me. Then I realized that no, if he really was interested and he was just too busy then he still could have offered up another time to hang out when he was free. Plus while I was bitchy, everything I said was true, not made up and he didn't once come back w/ the way something "really happened" instead of what I "made up." But anyway, he also got personnal whereas I did not. I just don't know why I try making up excuses for guys. Actually I think today I started thinking how nice it would have been if things were different. Oh well, I just have to stop that.
I have decided that I am not going to hit on any guys on Thursday and I am definitely not going back on personnals. I really want a guy who will actually ask me out in real life. I am not going to ask a guy out or hit on him first. I just want a guy who's confident enough to go over to a girl that smiles at him when he catches her eye.

I awoke to find another letter slipped under my door. My first thought was what the fuck is wrong w/ people that they don't realize that first thing in the morning in not the best time for a positive response from me? I hate, absolutely hate getting up in the morning. I am a crab ass, all I want to do is eat or have sex. Until I get at least food all I can really do is stumble around and grunt. When I get a pissy letter all I want to do is fight. It's like "you have angered the gods, you will now suffer" followed by a lot of angry growling. lol. So anyway I read the letter and it's not a pissy letter at all. It is a huge guilt trip. I feel awful. It's all about how Jamie is beating himself up over the letter and how much he misses me. It breaks my heart. I really wish there was something I could do.