Alright one more before I go to bed. lol.

I went back in the archives to try and find a post where I was talking good about Keith, and I found a few, but I also found were right from the beginning I wasn't sure if he liked me, or at least as much as I liked him and I was wondering if he cared about me. I know before I broke up w/ Kenny I never questioned if Keith wanted to be w/ me or if he cared, cuz he always told me. However about a week after we started going out or so, that all changed. That's when he started to act different. I was kinda shocked that this all started way back then. I guess after I decided to go out w/ him that was it. He had won so to speak.

I was hoping I would be able to find a guy who wouldn't play games and stuff. Ya know like how guys think that if a girl gives them a "real" kiss on the first date, they are easy. I mean what's w/ that? A guy will try to get laid every chance he gets, but if a girl likes sex or wants to have sex or just feels like cutting through the crap then she loses respect and potential for something more. I don't know I guess I never wanted to believe that it was really all about if a girl put out on the first date that guys would just not care after that, but who knows maybe it is all about the games. I guess I need to learn the rules. It just seems so idiotic. It doesn't make sense, ok he's hot and we had a great time, and I feel some chemistry so I feel like having sex, why does that make me any less of a person than the guy I am sleeping w/. Do guys still live in the 20's where the female orgasm is a myth? I don't know I am just in a really pissy mood today and I think it's a fucking joke that I should be looked down upon if I decide I want to have sex, no matter what date it's on. That seems so damn shallow of guys. Oh wait.....now I get it. jk. I know not all guys are like that (there's always Ross who doesn't sleep w/ girls on the first date to fuck w/ their head. lol. you know I love you anyway Ross) I don't know I just don't get all the "tests" and the mind games. I am who I say I am and it's insulting that if I want a boyfriend I have to play games to get him to like me. See I am back to the whole not wanting to deal w/ men ever again. Could someone please explain to me the "rules" of dating and I already know that when a guy says "there are no rules" that that is complete bullshit and he just wants sex on the first date. Maybe if I date ever again I will just do this shit to guys and if I sleep w/ them on the first date, I won't call them. oh wait that's right they will already not be calling me. I guess I am looking back on the few dates that I had before Kenny and Keith and ya know it's like either I slept w/ the one's (ok there were only 2 that I thought were really great) that were really great, or when I just needed to get laid, and they never called (only care about the first set, not the sec) but the one's I don't sleep w/ want to be serious after one date. I mean is that the only test that guys have to see if a girl is girlfriend material. I mean like I said there were only a few dates, but that's what I gathered from them. I really don't know if I would want to put the emotional effort into a guy and then he sucks in bed. Been there done that and I couldn't break up w/ a guy just because he was bad in bed. But then again if it's only the one date. Nah I guess I just need to raise my standards for guys. I thought I was picking the nice and thoughtful ones, but obviously I don't wait long enough to see past the games they play when they are just trying to "win." I don't know I am tired and crabby. gotta sleep. So how long does it take for a guy to stop playing games? Is there a general time limit? or is it just until after they get laid?