alright well i still dont know exactly where me and keith are going. i feel like we need some space but it's like wouldnt that be moving backward. but maybe we need that. this sucks. not knowing where it's going. i'm in limbo. i want to be with him but i dont know if we can stand this too much more. i feel like maybe things went to far. and i still dont think that he accepts responsibilty for his part of the fighting. he just puts it all on me. he was saying yesterday how in the truck he was trying to have a conversation and i got mad and started yelling. well the night we started fighting i was just sitting in bed and he asked me once or twice what was wrong and when i said nothing he started yelling and being snotty towards me. i feel that if he wouldnt have acted that way we wouldnt have started fighting. but i know he feels the same way about how i was "giving him attitude" although i didnt even say anything to him i was just laying there. i dont know if we just dont know how to fight with eachother yet or what. but i am not used to these fights that go on for days. the longest fight me and kyle had lasted 2 days. and that was it. and that was a few months after we started dating. then it was like 30 minutes. we had it down to a freaking science. i mean i dont expect me and keith to be like that right away or ever i guess. but i cant handle fighting for a week at a time. lifes too short. think of all the sex we miss. jk (but not really, seriously think about it that's alot of sex) actually i am feeling pretty frustrated right now. we only had sex 3 times last week. i cant believe how sexually attracted to him i am. to me it's amazing. i kinda feel that maybe once we both quit holding back the fighting will get better but i dont know. i dont even really know why we fight so much. i know on my part it is my insecurities. but what about his part. this sucks i cant sleep. i am having redecorating fantasies drift through my head. hmmm maybe i should switch those to some other fantasies. yeah like i need to add to that. so anyway. i am pretty beat. i think i will play the sims for a bit and the pass out. hopefully.