damn i just pigged out on some damn good chicken wings. ya know when you have a craving for something and usually it turns out shitty but then once in awhile it turns out way better than you have ever had. mmmm. yum. so anyway. i had a decent weekend. i got all nervous and crap on the way down there. and most of the day on friday. worrying myself sick that i would see kyle. but then i got to cheryls and didnt worry about. although then i actually did see him. i didnt run into him or anything but we went to supervalue and hardee's is right there and he was walking in to hardee's. i wasnt too upset. i was a little sad for like a split second. so then i am just chilling out all weekend, go to elizabeth's party, have sunday dinner, and then i went to dr. a.'s. i was already in a pretty good mood going in there. although i was a bit nervous cuz i hadnt been in awhile. so i told him about how i was still pissed at kyle and he was saying that that was just because i felt that he abandoned me and never apologized (which is true i do want him to apologize) and that i need to remind myself who he isnt. he's not my mom, or my dad, and that my life is better with out him than with him. so true. thanks dr. a. i also told him about keith. all about keith. at first he wasnt sure cuz i mentioned that we have communication problems and that keith is insecure but i only mentioned that stuff first cuz i wanted to be sure to get to it and i was afraid if i just started in with all the good things we would never get to the stuff i wanted to ask him about. but then i told him all the good stuff and that seemed to relieve his worries. he said i need to take an emotional risk with keith. and then the dreams about kyle will stop. and that i need to build up the good qualities of our relationship but still watch out for the insecurities and communication problems. and not ignore them. he also said that keith should probably talk to someone about his insecurities. but then i told him how keith had a bad experience and all that. but he said that i should tell keith that there is an adjustment period with every dr. and patient and that there are some dr's that arent good. i dont know if it will do anything though. he also gave me the name of a place where i can go and take classes on dream interpretation. very cool. oh and he said that keith probably doesnt want to say that we are boyfriend and girlfriend cuz he is scared to be someone's boyfriend cuz then he might get hurt. that makes sense, i dont know if that is how it is and of course dr. A doesnt know for sure either he is just guessing. and he also said about our communication problems that if 2 people are communicating honestly there are going to be fights. and that when i dont tell keith what's wrong right away because i havent decided if it's something i want to fight over or get into a discussion about that that is a reasonable action. and i told him how i get moody when i feel that i am not important to keith. we talked about alot of stuff. also about how when i say something to keith he actually listens and responds. and how nice that is. well i am tired of typing right now but if i think of anything else we talk about or anything important i will put it in here. oh yeah i almost forgot that i had another dream last night, just keith this time. i was leaving, going somewhere, like to the store or something, and he was on the phone, and i told him that i was going and he was like i love you and i said i love you too and we both kinda looked at eachother and then hugged and kissed and it was very sweet. well anyway i am tired i need to take a nap