i lost my keys!!!!! i always lose my keys but this time i cannot find them at all. that is crazy!!. i hatae it when i do that. getting close to christmas. i cant wait til i get to go home and see everyone.but i am not looking forward to christmas. it will just be another day for me. kenny asked how much money i get from my grandma for christmas. when i said none his jaw about hit the floor. i was just like we dont do that in my family. my dad's mom gives us each 20 bucks cuz she doesnt buy us anything but my other grandma just buys us each a couple presents and that's it. he said his ex gets 2 grand. he gets like 300. i am kinda jealous. not mad but just kinda sad. cuz christmas was awesome when my mom was alive. and it wasnt too bad when i was with kyle cuz we always spoiled each other. but i dont have anyone this yr. my grandma is the only one i get anything from. it will just be one day this yr too. when i was with kyle it was christmas eve and christmas. so it will be alittle sad this yr. but at least i am going home. it's just i realized how sad its going to be without him. i cant even afford to buy anyone presents. i miss my mom alot too. i just wish i was able to buy presents for everyone. cuz that is always the best part. buying them and wrapping them and putting them under the tree. and knowing what it is when someone is opening it. i dont know i just dont have that here. yet. next yr i might. at least i will be able to buy everyone presents and spend my time shopping and wrapping them. that will be awesome. i wont be able to walk around my apartment. lol. i am so tired. but anyway. i worked out again today. and ate portillos. lol. actually i have been eating way more than normal lately. that is not good. i am not going to lose any inches if i keep that up. almost done with week one. 2 more days to go. i am going to go to bed now.