alright i was about half way through a super long blog (but really which one isnt super long) and my computer froze. so i am going to type some now and then i will type some later if kenny can fix my computer. i havent talked to him yet today. but he is going to come over later to take a look at it. i guess i will have to talk with him. i like him but i dont want to be in a relationship with him. i am having too much fun for a reationship right now. at least for this week. well i am sick of the pic i am working on. i have to go little by little. like work on it for 5 minutes and then stop. maybe i will start another one. but then i will have to put it in another sketch book and i was wanting to fill this one up first. i havent filled up a sketch book in a few yrs. although if i do it in oil pastels i could put it on some colored paper and then attach it into that one. or even if i use conte. i dunno. i need to do something original. something i can say hey this is mine. noone elses. i hate using other peoples stuff but i need the practice. i also need a job. so i can buy some clothes i dont have hardly any that fit. well i dont have many to begin with. so maybe i will get on the bus and go to the rug store to see if they will hire me. also kenny wants to buy me a computer.which isnt going to happen. i wouldnt let the moron buy me a computer let alone someone i met a few weeks ago.but anyway iwas thinking if he cant fix this one then he can buy it and i can pay him back. cuz i'm good like that. talked to marisa today. went to have lunch with her but she didnt go to school today. but she might come out with me for the concert. yeah!!! I like boys. lol. no i like men. yesterday i made up a budget. which is a good thing but i didnt have anything to put in the clothes column. :-( lol. well i could but then i wouldnt have any money to save up. and kenny said he will help me with investing. i just feel bad cuz i tried telling him over and over but every time i say i want to take everything slow and i just want to date it seems that he steps it up and tries to put more pressure on me. so i dont think a relationship will ever happen but i really do like him as a friend cuz we have such a blast. got an email from cheryl today too. i really want her to come up. but i cant wait to go down either. cuz i will go out with her and party alittle and spend time with elizabeth (my niece) and just go out and have fun. be a kid and all that. it's so weird cuz i am just now doing stuff that most people start doing in highschool. a long term relationship in highschool is just stupid. i am so bored right now. i need to go out and find a job. well i am not really bored i just have to find something to do until 7. where's a man when you need one. i could think of something to do for 3and a half hrs if i had a man here. lol. jk. that would be bad. i need to exercise cuz i went to portillos again today but marisa went everyday so far this week so i dont feel too bad but she was probably getting salads and stuff but she said i shouldnt feel bad cuz i was getting the milkshake and fries for her. lol. but that is the last time for awhile. i am going to exercise tomorrow and go grocery shopping. so it will be all good after that. i just needed a little hiatus for awhile. lol. but i am taking the stairs to my apartment now. and i feel horrible right now from eating all that so that is agood inncentive to eat better because i always feel so much better. i just need some money. lol. i love to shop. now that sales people actually look me in the eye and dont try to look busy so they cant help me and i actually fit into things. but i really need shoes. lol. well i guess i am officially a woman now huh? lol. well i am tired and i need a nap. but i am going to go to the rug store first and try to get a job. maybe i will stop by dave and busters too. who knows we will see how lazy i am feeling lol.