well my computer broke on sunday night but then all of a sudden it is ok again. so i dunno what the heck that was about. well i talked to michael sunday night and he seemed cool. and everything but then i called him monday and left a message asking if he wanted to do anything this week and he hasnt called me back yet. so i dont know. i am done with that. at least for now. i am not going to play these stupid games. and be chasing after him. especially since i have my pick of guys at the moment. John is going to be playing at the double door next thursday. his band is head lining actually. so i am going to go and see him. it should be fun. the only thing is that i am going to have to stay up late. oh the sacrifices. lol. woe is me. lol so anyway. kenny is coming over tonight and he is going to check out my computer and i am going to go out to dinner with him. we had this huge discussion earlier about how i dont want to have sex with him. (let it go man!!!) it is just frustrating because i have explained it to him before. several times. when i slept with those other 2 guys it was really out of character for me and i just dont need to go around sleeping with guys i just met. cuz we only met a few weeks ago. even though i think he could actually show me what good sex is like. i know he will just get hurt in the end and i dont like hurting people i care about. i dont want to do that to him. we will see how it goes. i feel bad though. cuz i know he really likes me. well anyway John called me twice last night. twice (take some notes michael. lol) so i am excited. he has a nice voice. very sexy. the only thing is though. is that he sounds a little like michael on the phone. it's weird. but we had some could conversation and we might meet up later this week or early next week before his concert. ooohh and he is 6 ft. sweet. ( i like em tall) lol. didnt go to class today but went to both yesterday. i am such a slacker. but i am doing homework and i am almost all caught up. so yippy for me. i should never have gotten that down comforter and sheets. i dont want to get out of bed now. before it didnt matter cuz it wasnt that nice but now it's like a little piece of heaven. lol. i am such a dork oh by the way marisa was fine. she was at her boyfriends. silly girl. had us all worried. my cleaning lady is going to kill me tomorrow. tons of dishes. i am down to 142 lbs. so i am glad. not that it is really a big deal to me right now. i am pretty happy with how i look. but soon i want to start working out more. and the less fat i have wheni work out the sooner i will see results. plus i am happy that i am not gaining. lol. but i am still eating at portillo's (huge cheeseburgers and fries) like once a week and i have calamri about once a week and then an entree so i can still really enjoy some "bad" things and look good. it's all about moderation well and moving around. not even necessarily exercise just not sitting on my butt all day. although since it is getting cold. i have to take the bus now. plus it is faster. but no stairs everyday so i might compensate by taking the stairs in my building i am only on the fifth floor. well kenny just called. he wanted to know if i was going to class since i am on line. so he said i was in trouble. so anyway need to start working out. and all that good stuff. i really need to work on my posture and develope my back muscles. i notice that i lean forward when i am not paying attention cuz all the extra weight up front. damn these things. so hopefully if i work on my back that will help take some of the load off. i could also work on my pecs and maybe that would make em a little smaller. oh but i lost another 1" and a half in my hips so i am now proportionate. well i always was pretty close but i am just happy my hips are getting smaller. i am now 38 28 38 so 2 more inches every where and i will be down to my goal measurements. then i just need to work on my lower abs a little more. and i will still need to go down a cup size but keep the same measurements. so how i do that i dont know maybe butterfly presses? i could ask John but maybe after we have met a few times. lol. well any way i dont really have anything to say anymore. actually this is long enough for me to have said everything. lol