alright, well michael never called so i dunno i am thinking that before i take him off my messanger that i want to im him and ask him why because i want to know. i need to know if i am doing something wrong. but i dont know we will see how i feel the next time i see him online. i am just really hurt. well last night me and kenny went to his brother's concert. it was really good. then we went out with his parents and a relative (i dont know how she was related but she was) it was really fun. they were cracking me up. then we went back to his house and his dad showed me a power point thing that he did for ken's grandma's birthday. it was really nice. and then ken came back here and kept me up until 3 in the morning!!!so i did not make it to the first lab time today. but i have to go to the 2nd one. i told ken to call me to make sure i am going. lol. we made out some more last night. he is really good at all that. but i dont know since i feel hurt by michael i dont think i am going to be able to open up as much with ken. which is a good thing. i needed that i guess. i just wish it didnt matter if i opened up to michael. i dont know i cant believe i am this upset by michael when after i got back up to chicago i didnt even care this much after kyle dumped me. maybe cuz i dont have anyother place to go to get away from it. i dunno. i guess i just need to get over it. oh and kenny looked at my drawing yesterday. he said it was awesome but it didnt seem like he meant it. i am used to people being pretty impressed with my stuff. but like i said i didnt even like it that much. i am very sad that michael is not calling or replying to me and everything. i wish i knew how to not be so sad about it. but it feels like a big loss. well i dont know how else to describe it. i will get over it. it will be easier now that he isnt calling than when he was calling. cuz i wont have anything to get me back into him. so hopefully in a few days i wont be so sad anymore.