I am so retarded. I am very physically attracted to CL. We have only hugged once and other than that have had very little physical contact. Being the dumb ass that I am when it comes to guys, I think I am putting some of the shit w/ Keith onto him. He is just an innocent by stander in my crazy life. So anyway, I emailed him to ask him where I stood w/ him. I am terrified that because I feel as physically attracted to him as I did w/ Keith that I am going to get my heart broken again and I freaked out for a second. I am a little bit better now, but I have no idea how I am going to control what goes through my mind, or my hormones. I need to just get it in my head right now that it's nothing more than friendship. I hate this, I have these onesided fucked up relationships. Whether it's friends or guys. Anyway I am not going to go on and on like I usually do. I just had to get that out.

Oh yeah. I went to pick up my medicine for my inconvienent bladder problem. W/o insurance it's 101 bucks and some change! I'm angry. lol. Fuck it's been a long day.