i cant believe i was up late worring about how keith would feel about something i thought i typed on here when he doesnt care about how he treats me in front of his friends who i just met!!!!! and right now in the middle of a fight he is passed out as usual. actions fucking speak louder than words and he cant even stay up and discuss something because it is just so unimportant, he knows that he falls asleep if he lays down so why the FUCK would he lay down in the middle of an arguement. i feel like shit about myself and how i let him treat me right now. there is no reason for the way he treated me today except he can dish it out but not take it. well i am not some meak little girl who is just going to sit there and let him treat me like shit!! i dont know why i care so much. i dont know why i am the one still awake, upset, crying, and beating myself up and he is passed out. obviously he doesnt fucking care. he just showed me how much he cares when he layed down on that bed. he said he would do anything for me but apparently anything doesnt mean treat me with respect or like an equal human being. or with any love or attention or affection. matt and debbie who are always fighting were even holding hands and had their arms around each other. but i get shoved in the damn face!