There is a serious pattern in my life:

• Travis (first guy I ever made out w/) just wanted to make out but not go out w/ me
• Kyle (ex-boyfriend of 6 yrs) told me the night we broke up that "at least we had good sex" ( he had good sex, I had crappy sex cuz he just laid there)
• Keith has said at least we have good sex and tonight he told me that he couldn't offer me what I wanted
• John said he wanted to sleep w/ me but since he has a girlfriend couldn't offer me a romantic relationship.
• Oh and Ross wouldn't turn me down.
• And we can't forget how Kenny said that he wouldn't even come to see me if sex wasn't involved and if he didn't have class in the city that would more than likely be true.

I am just fine to fuck and have a good time w/ but I am not good enough to be taken out on dates or be held or touched or treated like I am special or worth anything (except by Ross who treats me very nice). Keith would rather have me as a friend than loose me altogether, but the fact that I am not good enough to be w/ hurts right now, and the fact that it is apparently the general way guys think of me it hurts even more, especially since I am still so hurt about Keith. My confidence just nosedived. But that's ok, because it doesn't matter if that's how guys see me, I know I am cooler than that, and I might be damn good in bed, but I am damn fun to hang out w/ too and if a guy would put some effort into being w/ me instead of me relying on me being the only one then I would be a damn good girlfriend. And Kyle is just an ass because until that fucker started lying to me I was a damn good girlfriend. And then me and Keith fought because he doesn't understand why I am still mad. It probably has something to do w/ the fact that he hurt me so damn badly that it's going to take more than a few instant messages for me to get over it.