For awhile I was thinking that there must be something special about me and Jamie's relationship that allows us to communicate and disagree with one another with out being mean. I was wrong. I am slightly relieved to know that I was not the one to be mean, but I am still upset that it's happened.


I am so sick of being self-conscious and caring what people think and always thinking that there is something about me that is fucked up. I am the same as everyone else. I get pissy and I get defensive and I get hurt and I get sick and I get happy. I am tired of people judging me and my "friends" being so fucking negative about me. I love my friends for who they are and I just want to support them in what makes them happy, whether or not I see what they see (unless what makes them happy ends up hurting me) and I would like the same returned. It seems that everyone thinks that I have a sign hanging around my neck that says "Please tell me everything wrong with me"
I am sick of everyone pointing out all the shit that is wrong with me and them not seeing that they have shit wrong with them. I know there's shit wrong with me, that's why I don't go around rubbing other people's faults in their faces. It's not my damn business. I am too busy trying to fix my own problems!!!! I just wish I could have more supportive people in my life. The last few days I have been feeling jaded by a culture that is based on shopping and one upping everyone else. I guess lately I have been feeling like I need more community, more support, more fun and interaction with supportive people. I am tired of being around people who just want to be competitive and who always have hidden agendas.

If anyone knows how to stop giving a shit about what other people think please let me know, I seem to have forgotten.