i love marisa, she is the best. she called me earlier and we were saying how guys seem to go crazy at the same time. apparently ray is being crazy now. ya know something i forgot to mention, keith bitched because one time i brought up something he did the day before in an arguement, that was actually relevent to the arguement we were having and said i was throwing stuff in his face when i wasnt, well on sunday when we were fighting he so threw something in my face from a while back that had nothing to do w/ the arguement. fighting w/ him is insane. and yesterday we got into it again


him: are you in a bad mood

me: i wasnt

him: oh you are cuz i called

me: kinda

him: fine i wont call any more

me i didnt say that i am just disappointed cuz i thought maybe you would come over tonight but you cant

him (all of a sudden yelling) THAT"S RIGHT I CANT!! I CANT COME DOWN CUZ I GOTTA DO THIS APARTMENT SHIT AND I AM DISAPPOINTED CUZ I DONT HAVE ANY MONEY THIS MONTH

me: I KNOW I JUST FUCKING SAID YOU CANT THAT'S WHAT I JUST SAID

and then we went on to fight for a little bit more and it's like ya know if the apartment stuff was that big of a deal and that important maybe he shouldnt have gone up north but again i am the one that gets pushed aside for it.

but anyway, i got 4 boxes packed yesterday and i am going to go get more tonight and pack up some more, plus clean.

the last few days i have been seeing these girls w/ flat stomaches and just great bodies and it's really starting to suck. i know what it will take for me to look like that but i can't seem to make myself do it. and right now i am sick so i can't work out but i am hoping tomorrow i will be able to breath and go to pilates, i miss pilates, and i really need to start going to the gym all the time but i always say that and it never happens.