i am officially cranky from lack of sex. lol. but it's ok i am still in a good mood. at least every other second. then i remember how long it's been and how long it will be.... it is just frustrating cuz he was supposed to be getting all this stuff done for the last month and it's like what the heck has he been doing. and then it's like ok well why can't he spare a little bit of time for me. and i think i know why i "treat him better" in chicago than in wisconsin. cuz in wisconsin he is being pulled in a thousand directions and i just sit on the couch and keep myself busy til he is done and notices i am still there. where as in chicago, he doesnt have anything to do or anybody to see so he pays me more attention and there for treats me better. lame i know. it's just a theory. i dont notice that i treat him different but apparently i do. i dont know it's not really a big deal, i just make it one i guess. at least when it seems like he just doesnt want to talk to me or he doesnt have enough time for me. oh well i am sure it will be the other way around once my business starts going. but anyway

yall would be soooo proud of me. this morning i displayed a whole new level of self-discipline. i was sleeping sooo good when the alarm went off and i was thisclose to going back to sleep. i turned off my alarm and was talking myself into staying in bed but then out of no where i heard a voice "winners are motivated by results not comfort" it was a big scary voice saying it over and over. when it finally stopped i was feeling guilty about staying in bed but...then i was still going to. and i remember that ross wasnt going to be a wuss and stay in bed that he had to get up and go. so up i went. awesome huh...and the best part, i am not even done yet. ross did not show up ( i hope he is ok) and instead of going home and crawling back into bed i climbed those stairs and worked really hard in my msc class. it burned!! but i liked it. and then i came home and got in the shower. and after breakfast i am gonna ride this wave self-discipline and motivation and i am going to get the free internet advertising done and i will get my flyers printed up and i will get them distributed and i will print out my surveys. it's gonna be a good day. why? because i am motivated by results not comfort (lol. alright stop laughing it's not that funny)

oh and i can't go back and read the archives of the woman's blog cuz she doesnt have any. i'm so sad. oh and i am changing one of my goals. the read for an hour everyday after work, i am still going to read but sometimes it will be self improvement, just not self improvement that will help me with work ;-D cuz i have quite a few sex books that need to be read. well at least 2. so anyway. i am off to start my day.