March 9
Well damn I don’t have the internet right now and it will probably be a month before I get it back up. I think I might get a job a at Victoria
secrets. That will cool! Except they will want me to work weekends Friday Saturday and Sunday so that will suck because then when am I going to see keith. But I am thinking that if he comes down on the weekends when he doesn’t have the kids then that will be cool cuz then he can spend some more time here and we will get to do stuff in Chicago and I will hopefully learn the city a little better and all that. So I will be excited. If he wants to do that that is. It will suck though because we will never get to spend all day in bed or anything like that. At least not for a long time. And that will suck. Ya know cuz if I can get both my days off in a row then I can go up there during the week when he works and then stay up there and he can come down everyother weekend so we should be able to work something out. But it is going to be really tough when I start school again. But I have to do it. And this is the girl that didn’t ever want to have another long distance relationship. Although one hour isn’t really long distance if only one of you has a car it is. So I am thinking if keith hasn’t sold this focus that he got a good deal on at work by the time I get some money and all that then I might buy it. Oh and then the night before last he was saying how it’s good when we have breaks and stuff and I was like I know and he was like I think this break is needed (since we fought all weekend) and I was like I know. But then he was like I think they are needed but I don’t want anyone else to have your good times I want them all. That was really sweet. It melted my butter. Lol. But then last night he was pissed cuz me and Kenny went out cuz Kenny was hungry and we shared an entrée and then Kenny wanted to teach me how to dance. And all that. So last night on the phone keith was like did he try anything and I was like no cuz he didn’t and then keith had the nerve to ask if I had been drinking which is to imply that if I was I would have slept with him or whatever. Or done something with him cuz I made the mistake of telling keith about how bad things happen when I drink. So now he is worried that I am just going to get drunk and sleep with Kenny. And we were just talking about that the night before. And that really pissed me off because he is throwing something in my face that didn’t happen with him. When I was 18! and under completely different circumstances. And that pisses me off because not once have I blamed him or thought less of him for something he did before me. Ya know I mean I never did anything that would make him not trust me and already I am being questioned. It kinda makes me wonder. I mean what is he going to do when I am in school and am working and I don’t have time for him or when I go out with my friends and I don’t see him. I mean then how is he going to act. So I am in a predicament because on the one hand he is very sweet and he does treat me very good and we have a good time together but I am not used to being questioned all the time. Even my ex forgave me for that mistake ya know. And it’s like I try to be very honest especially to someone I am in a relationship with. I don’t like to lie I am not good at it and I don’t really see the point most of the time. And then for him to not trust when I have never done anything that would make him lose trust in me it just gets under my skin to just automatically not be trusted because I am a woman. And because of something I did when I was 18 that I didn’t have to tell him about in the first place. So anyway this is too long and all that and I have to get my butt in gear cuz I need to finish buying an outfit for all my interviews and all that. So I might write more later
Later that day…
So anyway this sucks. I went to try and find pants to match my blazer and nothing. Well they did have matching pants but they sucked so I didn’t get them. So I had to buy other pants and a new shirt and I have to take back that blazer later this week sometime. So that is crappy. but at least I got some good pants now. Although I will probably need them hemmed cuz they are a little long but oh well. Oh and then keith calls me and he asked if I was still pissed well he has this way of asking that makes it seem that if I am then he is going to get pissed and that there is no reason for me to still be mad. Although I wasn’t mad any more and I was looking forward to talking to him that kinda made me mad. So anyway now I feel crummy and I already felt bad cuz the mirrors at h and m are awful and I realized that I am getting a small mustache and that I just look bad. So I am having a bad body day. And he called and just didn’t help anything. But oh well hopefully I will get that job at v.s. and it will all be good. I will be happy if that happens I guess or that sunglasses place that would be cool too. But anyway. I have to go grocery shopping now. Which I barely have any money left thanks to my little shopping adventures of the last two days and I am still not done because I have to get some black flats or something comfy to wear if I get a job. But I am so feeling the v.s. interview on Thursday. I defenitly think that I am going to land that. But if I don’t oh well. I applied at a ton of spots so something has to come up right? Lets hope so. Mommy needs some new shoes. Lol. Actually I need the internet back on and my phones and tons of other crap.
Well damn I don’t have the internet right now and it will probably be a month before I get it back up. I think I might get a job a at Victoria
secrets. That will cool! Except they will want me to work weekends Friday Saturday and Sunday so that will suck because then when am I going to see keith. But I am thinking that if he comes down on the weekends when he doesn’t have the kids then that will be cool cuz then he can spend some more time here and we will get to do stuff in Chicago and I will hopefully learn the city a little better and all that. So I will be excited. If he wants to do that that is. It will suck though because we will never get to spend all day in bed or anything like that. At least not for a long time. And that will suck. Ya know cuz if I can get both my days off in a row then I can go up there during the week when he works and then stay up there and he can come down everyother weekend so we should be able to work something out. But it is going to be really tough when I start school again. But I have to do it. And this is the girl that didn’t ever want to have another long distance relationship. Although one hour isn’t really long distance if only one of you has a car it is. So I am thinking if keith hasn’t sold this focus that he got a good deal on at work by the time I get some money and all that then I might buy it. Oh and then the night before last he was saying how it’s good when we have breaks and stuff and I was like I know and he was like I think this break is needed (since we fought all weekend) and I was like I know. But then he was like I think they are needed but I don’t want anyone else to have your good times I want them all. That was really sweet. It melted my butter. Lol. But then last night he was pissed cuz me and Kenny went out cuz Kenny was hungry and we shared an entrée and then Kenny wanted to teach me how to dance. And all that. So last night on the phone keith was like did he try anything and I was like no cuz he didn’t and then keith had the nerve to ask if I had been drinking which is to imply that if I was I would have slept with him or whatever. Or done something with him cuz I made the mistake of telling keith about how bad things happen when I drink. So now he is worried that I am just going to get drunk and sleep with Kenny. And we were just talking about that the night before. And that really pissed me off because he is throwing something in my face that didn’t happen with him. When I was 18! and under completely different circumstances. And that pisses me off because not once have I blamed him or thought less of him for something he did before me. Ya know I mean I never did anything that would make him not trust me and already I am being questioned. It kinda makes me wonder. I mean what is he going to do when I am in school and am working and I don’t have time for him or when I go out with my friends and I don’t see him. I mean then how is he going to act. So I am in a predicament because on the one hand he is very sweet and he does treat me very good and we have a good time together but I am not used to being questioned all the time. Even my ex forgave me for that mistake ya know. And it’s like I try to be very honest especially to someone I am in a relationship with. I don’t like to lie I am not good at it and I don’t really see the point most of the time. And then for him to not trust when I have never done anything that would make him lose trust in me it just gets under my skin to just automatically not be trusted because I am a woman. And because of something I did when I was 18 that I didn’t have to tell him about in the first place. So anyway this is too long and all that and I have to get my butt in gear cuz I need to finish buying an outfit for all my interviews and all that. So I might write more later
Later that day…
So anyway this sucks. I went to try and find pants to match my blazer and nothing. Well they did have matching pants but they sucked so I didn’t get them. So I had to buy other pants and a new shirt and I have to take back that blazer later this week sometime. So that is crappy. but at least I got some good pants now. Although I will probably need them hemmed cuz they are a little long but oh well. Oh and then keith calls me and he asked if I was still pissed well he has this way of asking that makes it seem that if I am then he is going to get pissed and that there is no reason for me to still be mad. Although I wasn’t mad any more and I was looking forward to talking to him that kinda made me mad. So anyway now I feel crummy and I already felt bad cuz the mirrors at h and m are awful and I realized that I am getting a small mustache and that I just look bad. So I am having a bad body day. And he called and just didn’t help anything. But oh well hopefully I will get that job at v.s. and it will all be good. I will be happy if that happens I guess or that sunglasses place that would be cool too. But anyway. I have to go grocery shopping now. Which I barely have any money left thanks to my little shopping adventures of the last two days and I am still not done because I have to get some black flats or something comfy to wear if I get a job. But I am so feeling the v.s. interview on Thursday. I defenitly think that I am going to land that. But if I don’t oh well. I applied at a ton of spots so something has to come up right? Lets hope so. Mommy needs some new shoes. Lol. Actually I need the internet back on and my phones and tons of other crap.
posted by :D at 9:26 PM
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