breaking up is hard to do

this sucks. i am so bad at breaking up with someone. i told him but i dont know. i am worried he is going to try and talk me out of it later. so now i am sitting here dreading seeing him because i know how hard it is going to be. i knew i should have waited to do it face to face. but then it would have been harder. ya know what i think breaking up with someone over the phone should be mandatory. yes they deserve better but it gives distance. it gives room to think and to feel what you are going to feel in private. and i dont know i guess i am just chicken shit but i know that if he was here i wouldnt have been able to get out what i needed to get out and i would. i just hope he doesnt hate me. but i know that is unrealistic. i am just going to read my book i guess and wait for keith or cheryl to call. i just think that over the phone he was in shock and by the time that he gets here he is going to be pissed. i dont know what to expect.