i dont think i am going to do that lunch thing, that guy seems like he just wants to get some and that's not cool, either that or just have someone listen to him talk about himself. so whatever, i have better things to do, anyway, the class that i took today (the bootcamp) was so much better! i didnt get sick and worked out really hard,(my calves are on FIRE! lol) and there was another woman in there today she was older like, i would say 50 but she is probably older and just looks good for her age ( i am bad at judging peoples ages) so anyway she was so buff! but those 2 women and the instructor are all really nice so it's like i have 4 workout buddies. ya know what i mean. plus everyone in pilates is really nice, i had a good time today and am a little sad that i am not going to be here on tuesday for it. i ended up drinking 3 bottles of water! in 1 hour! that's not going to be pretty

update on me and keith: i know he isnt going to leave me for someone else now, so that is a HUGE relief, we had a "heart to heart" last night, so i feel better about the whole thing now, i mean i knew why he wanted it but i guess i just didnt believe myself cuz i was listening to everyone else and not keith, who has never lied to me, anyway so i found out he does miss me so that is good, cuz it seemed like he didnt at all. so hopefully i will be able to handle the break better

also i started a brief meditation practice last night that really helped me calm down. so i am hoping between that and working out with ross and the classes my mind will not be rushing around constantly with crazy thoughts, also i think that part of the reason keith thought that i just sat here and thought of reasons to be mad at him was that for awhile i was kinda living in my head and didnt realize it, part of the meditation was learning that thoughts aren't "real" and that they are little drama's in your head trying to distract you and well since i didnt have anything better to do it wasnt too hard to distract me. so it's not like i was sitting here thinking of reasons to be mad at him, it's that i didnt have anything better to do than just sit here, and think, and since he is on my mind alot well you know one thing leads to another. oh and i am hoping that between meditating and exercising as hard as the classes are, and so early in the morning will knock me out when i go to bed, which is the most problematic time for me.

so today, i have plans to return some of the clothes that i bought for work (i would return all but i took the tags of some to wear) and i am going to clean! and pack and then tomorrow i will probably clean some more. i think i need to go to bed for awhile first though. lol. which probably isnt helping me get to sleep at night any faster, although yesterday i only had a 15 minute nap.