well since i about killed myself making chili yesterday i am reaping the rewards now. all chili all the time. lol. i am just too sick to go and get groceries. it's a good thing i dont get sick of this stuff. although i am craving wings and french fries with bbq sauce. that's not good. well i told marisa what kenny said. but now he is saying he knows he is lucky to have her. and ray is doing everything he can to get her back. and it's working. she is saying she is exhausted with trying to have 2 guys. see...she laughed at me. and now she cant handle it. she is going to a baseball game with ray and then meeting up with kenny. ahhh i taught her well. lol. reminds me of me when i was younger. *sniff*. lol just kidding i only juggled like that once and it was three in one day and i slept for a week afterwards. plus none of them knew about each other, and i wasnt in love with any of them. oh well enough about that. i am feeling about the same as yesterday. i might have been feeling better but someone had to call me crying at 830 in the morning. now if she would have been in a good mood i would have hung up on her. but i couldnt do that with the day she started out having. she definitly has a knack for taking a seriously shitty day and turning it into a three ring circus. 4 times she called me so far today (at least) 1st rays done out of my life for good 2 kennys done 3 ray is so sweet 4 kenny is so done 5 kenny is sooo sweet what do i do! lol this is why it sucks to be a girl. i do not envy her one bit right now. although at least she is probably going to get some tonight. well i am almost done with ff10, but then i know i will have to go out and get ff10-2 and then it will take me 2 yrs to finish that. i caught myself twice almost saying i love you on the phone with keith, but i dont want to say it on the phone. not for the first time. i mean he has waited this long he might as well here it when we are face to face and i am not drunk or in a compromising position. marisa said i should just say "i didnt want to do this on the phone but i love you" and then hang up. ya know i would do that cuz it would be kinda funny, but i know i would get my ass kicked if i hang up on him. so...... otherwise i would. but we have had that discussion. and even though it's different and i am not hanging up cuz i am pissed off i still dont think he will appreciate it too much. so instead of i love you before we hang up i say i miss you. how lame am i?