well marisa and steph came up saturday and we hung out w/ ross and his roommate jamie for awhile. i asked jamie to go to tango w/ me cuz he does stuff like that. i think we all had fun. and then keith came over on sunday. he saw one of my fat pics and he was like what made you gain so much weight. i was like i was a lard ass!! lol. we had so much fun. at least for me. i mean we flirted w/ each other all day, teased each other, laughed. and had amazing (and when i say amazing i mean AMAZING) sex. and he held my hand. lol. i am so easily pleased. it was for like half a block but it made me feel better. and he let me lay on him in the theater through out the whole movie. of course i am sure it didnt hurt that i distracted him through half of it w/ my hand down his pants. lol. ya know it's all about compromise. lol. ya know it's so nice that when it comes to sex he just throw's something new in there and i dont even have to ask for it. he just out of no where adds something good. even if i get sore or am tired it's so good i dont want to quit and when i think i couldnt possibly have another orgasm he goes and does it again. i didnt even bother trying to keep count. i wish i knew how we could have days like yesterday all the time. where it's fun and we are just happy to be w/ eachother. i mean even when i got jealous of him giving a ride to his ex babysitter on his bike it was still like whatever. i mean i was jealous but it didnt matter. it was just light and fun and i dont know why we can't have more days like that. i dont know i mean i was pretty pissed in the morning but as soon as i saw him it didnt matter any more and it was just like every thing was good. i mean i do have alot of negative thoughts i guess cuz it's like i dont know if i can trust him. i mean i did but now it's like i am not sure anymore and i know i am being silly when i dont trust him and make a big deal out of nothing but it's like well he doesnt know if he wants to be w/ me so what's to stop him from going out w/ someone else. but even if he does i know i will find someone else and be happy w/ someone else. i am just paranoid of going through all that again. so i guess i am magnifing every thing else to the point that i can't see the signs that say he wont do that. but at the same time i dont want to be blind ya know. well anyway. i have the urge to go to the bookstore. that's not a good thing. i need to find a way to make some fast cash. not alot just a little to last through the month until i get paid from herbalife. i also need to get stuff going so i can advertise for herbalife too and so i will actually have something to be paid next month.