i am so tired, i know i need to do all this crap but i dont have the energy for it. today is just a shitty day, but the fact that i do have a list of shit to do, is stressing me out. not to mention it seems like keith has been avoiding me all week, he says he's not and that i should quit worrying. i guess i am not really that worried any more, but still. plus there's about a thousand things running through my mind. ya know it's so ridiculous, i dont do anything and yet it feels like all the stress in the world is on my shoulders. i probably have too much time to think about stuff. i dont know, i just feel like i am never going to get anywhere. i know that's not true, but i know that it will take me forever to get anywhere and i want it all now. baby steps. i just have to do one thing at a time and slowly cut a path to what i want. but it would help if i knew specifically what it was that i wanted. i need a nap!