i keep having dreams about my ex. they really piss me off cuz then i wake up in a bad mood and then i am stuck thinking about him. keith is pissed at me because i am not going to do anything about kenny yet. even though i never said i wouldnt do anything about him yet. so i dont know what is up with that. he was like well you call me or write me or whatever when you want to talk to me. and see i think if i do stop seeing kenny then he will expect me to go out with him. when i was already thinking of not seeing kenny any more because missing kyle is getting worse not better. and it is a waste of kenny's time to be with me if i am not over that stupid idiot yet. i also had a dream about a buick 8. cuz i was reading stephen kings book from a buick 8 last week. i dont know i am just mad at everyone at the moment. kenny for being such an ass and keith for getting mad at me and that stupid idiot for doing what he did to me. i really want to email him a horrible letter but it is too late for that i guess. i dont want him to think that i am still hung up on him four months later. i hate him. i hate guys in general i think.well not for friends but definitly for anything more. they are usless. and i feel useless and kenny made me feel like crap the other day when he said that about my ex and then all the shit he said about me. damn i still have to call that woman damn that sucks. i dont want to go to that school i dont have enough money. it is probably really expensive and all that great shit. i need a job too. again. i know i quit the last one but they lied big time and that sucked. i am just feeling very negative right now because of that stupid ass dream.